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    Diary of a Mad Addict . . . Chapter 21

    As I sat there on the couch, impatiently shifting my legs, crossing and uncrossing them, I felt my heart skip a beat or two. She had that affect on me, that certain something that makes you nervous and excited at the same time. While I sat there and watched her work, I felt those feelings. I was nervous. I was excited. I thought she should know. *****, she was always asking me how I felt anyway. I guess I should just tell her.

    I cleared my throat to get her attention. Uhhhhmmmmmm. She looked up from the notes she had been writing, peering at me over the bifocals she had let slip down to the end of her nose.

    Ever so carefully, I moved my body to the far end of the squeaky leather sofa and patted the empty spot beside me encouraging her to come on over. I raised my eyebrows up and down and smiled as devilishly as I could, hoping against hope that she wouldnt be able resist me or my charm. Again, I patted the sofa and slowly tossed my head to the side. Again, encouraging her to abandon her work and join me there.

    Not surprisingly, she looked at me as if I were a moron – a look I to which I was quite accustomed . Pulling off her glasses, she simultaneously opened her desk drawer and grabbed a packet of little powdered donuts. She threw the sugary treats at me, rather forcefully I might add, and I caught them with one hand them before they hit the lamp on the table beside me.

    Nice shot, Doc, I sarcastically muttered. I take it that little exhibition of your throwing ability is an indication of your refusal to join me on the couch. Thats a shame.

    Would you like a Dew to wash down those donuts?, my shrink asked me, totally ignoring my remark, as she rose from her wheeled, swivel chair and walked toward a small office-sized refrigerator.

    I licked my lips and watched with silent pleasure as she bent over to retrieve two sodas from the mini-bar. (MOTHER ***** ME NOW – THAT WOMAN IS HOT)

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    Comments

    1. “Thankfully, the cell phone turned itself off as I hit the ground, keeping the curious public from reading my sex-laden message as they attended to my bloodied face.” LOL!!! Oh it’s good to read ya! Outstanding as always Beach. You make me want to run out and buy a new kerchief. HA, wonderful.

    2. Beach, I’ve been following this diary a long time and I can’t say I’m disappointed. Love this to bits! :) Somehow, there’s a reflection of me staring back with lunatic eyes.

    3. Sex via phone text message? Ghee, I’m gonna have to try that! BTW, the hankerchief thing….you would be surprised at how many guys still carry them….I’ll tell you about it some time. Thanks again for the laughs Beach. You rule.

    4. I love to read your stuff ’cause it puts my addiction in perspective. Huh? I would love it if you wrote a roadtrip to meet Bette in West Hollywood – please??

    5. You crack me up T6beach!! You fall out of your chair and bump your head when you cybersex….you bump your head against a steel light post when you have text-message-sex…. Seems that you rather ‘bump’ than ‘hump’.

    6. Beach, looks like you’re bringing your life in great danger due to all the addictions. I would suggest to take a backpack with you everywhere you go containing at least a first aid kit, coldpack, lidocaine for local anaesthesia and nitrolingual in case of acute heatfailure. Furthermore, I would consider wearing a helmet whenever you’re awake. Speaking of which…in Belgium there was this research quite recently. They threw a helmet and a fabric hat off a tall building. The helmet fell into several pieces whereas the fabric hat didn’t show any damage at all. Helmet are forbidden since, but hey,….I’ll leave the choice up to you !

    7. Uh, Whoops! I still need to post the last addition that was sent to me over 6 weeks ago…………however, I am starved for more articles……….Beach? Anyone?……..that and my addiction to the L also………which would baffle and scare most………shit, I’ll leave it at that! :D

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