And if you make the smallest of sounds or say one thing about my ***** I will have to tell your boss that you will never get any better, you helpless, hopeless pervert.

(MOTHER ***** ME AGAIN THE WOMAN HAS EYES IN THE BACK OF HER HEAD – – DAMN, SHE IS GOOD)

I felt my face burn with embarrassment but I remained stoic in my response, never once giving my therapist a clue as to my true feelings.

Geez, doc, I am appalled at your inference that I might be checking out your butt. Please, give me a little more credit than that. I do have some tact and respect (AND BELIEVE ME DOC I SO DO RESPECT AND WORSHIP THAT *****).

She stood up and walked back to the front of her desk. Leaning her backside against it and facing me, she crossed her ankles and tossed me a Dew. We popped the tops simultaneously, laughed out loud, then held the cans up in the air as we toasted, Salute she said.

Back at ya, doc, I replied then sipped and sighed with relief as the carbonation and caffeine filled my veins.

So Beach, good news, my mind bender began. Your bosses are amazed at your effort and production considering your physical and mental state. I guess we must be doing something right. How do you feel these days?

I stared into my shrinks eyes as she spoke knowing that making eye contact during a conversation was the polite thing to do. And the good doc was certainly enjoyable eye candy. She was incredible, Dr. Stella Repp, company mental health counselor – incredibly beautiful, incredibly understanding, incredibly helpful and wise, just simply incredible. I was so lucky to have someone who understands and accepts me. I loved Dr. Repp. Its a shame I felt compelled to lie to her nearly every time we met.

As a condition of my continued employment, I was required to seek psychiatric help to deal with my addiction – my addiction to everything L which was causing my work habits to deteriorate. Reading Fan Fiction, writing stories for the site, communicating with other authors, planning clandestine meetings with fellow writers and even engaging in cyber ***** with one of the hottest pens were just a few of the sins I was committing over the past few months. Feeding the addiction was causing me to be late for work, to lie to my bosses, to misdeliver packages and even be involved in the deaths of several of my neighbors. In addition, my personal life was suffering as my wife suspected, discovered and confronted me about my bizarre behavior and the lies I was forced to tell to cover up my ridiculous and insane actions. I was a mess, a mental disaster, a knucklehead for sure.