(GAWD DAMMIT) I began to reach blindly for my cell phone wondering how I would ever be able to read the message since I couldnt see a ***** thing.

(WHY YOU GOTTA SEXT ME NOW OF ALL TIMES, YOU LITTLE HOT PEN, I thought to myself as I struggled to dig the phone out of the pocket of my shorts. CANT YOU SEE I AM WAITING FOR HER – MY FAVE-MY STORY-SUPPLYING L-WORD DEALER? GEEZ . . .)

I took my sunglasses off and pulled my tank top up to wipe the stinging, watery residue accumulating from my accidental poking. (MOTHE ***** ME, THIS STILL HURTS , DAMN) At the same time I managed to retrieve the phone and flip its cover to read the message from my cybersex partner, though it was an extremely inopportune moment to get stirred up.

Without my glasses I was much blinder than the old proverbial bat so I held the phone mere inches from my nose to read the tiny script. And once again I was engulfed by a mixture of emotions which I simply could not control. This time it was fear– pure and simple and unadulterated fear, ( with a little devilish joy ) which made me sit up straight and actually look around to see if I were being watched !!

WHAT THE ***** DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? the Hotpen wrote. I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU ARE UP TO, YOU CHEATIN SONOFABEACHNUT.

My mouth dropped open as a shiver danced its way down my spine giving me chills AND thrills !! (MOTHER *****, ME AND ***** ME HARD – I AM SOOO BUSTED). As I read, the phone beeped again signaling yet another text and I wasnt quite sure I should actually peek at it. *****, of course I will peek at it.

I dropped my hand from in front of my face and began to look around again – to the left, then to the right, then almost turning completely around and peering behind me. Nothing out of the ordinary was observed, but then again I couldnt see ten feet in front of me without my glasses, coupled with the constant stinging of my poked and battered eye.