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Double Vision 11
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Finally noticing the close proximity and how no one else seemed to find it odd, it began to slowly dawn on Dana that she might actually be the last person to notice what she noticed. But she decided to go for it anyway. Just as she opened her mouth to speak…
Helena slipped. Right through the stupid gap.
Dana stared, Jenny smiled, Shane chuckled, Alice laughed, while Bette exclaimed “Sweetheart!”
“I fell” said a blushing Helena, as if it required further description. She took Bette’s offered hand and rose.
“So you did!” said Bette with an amused smile before berating her lover “Why didn’t you tell me there was no space for you to sit?”
“Well, I was comfortable next to you” replied Helena, smiling sweetly
“Silly” laughed Bette. She patted her lap “come here”
“So!” Dana said hurriedly as she watched Helena take seat on Bette’s lap. Honestly, this was lessening the significance of her noticement [It is a word in Dana’s vocabulary. So there.]
“Yes?”
“I’ve noticed that Bette and Helena are getting awfully cosy together”
Silence again.
Dana didn’t know how to respond to the collective eye-rolling that punctuated the silence. So she resorted to the ever-faithful shrug and “Wha-aat??”
“Dana sweetie?” started Alice condescendingly, for once being in-the-know “Two things. One- Bette just called Helena ‘Sweetheart’, which, by the way, I think is wayyy too sappy for words and to come from Bette, I mean seriously, how many women have already emotionally starved to death wanting to hear that from her! I don’t kn…”
“Alice” said Dana in a way that actually translated into ‘Alice, get on with it, for fuck’s sake!’
“…anyway, number two- Helena is now sitting on Bette’s lap. And number three- if you turn around, you’d see someone exactly like Helena standing right behind you”
“That’s three” objected Dana.
“What?” asked Alice, momentarily confused out of her smugness.
“You said two things. And you’ve said three”
Alice scowled “Whatever. And there still is another Helena standing behind you”
“I wish you’d stop calling me that. I’m the older one here, she should be called another Estelle” came the biting drawl of Estelle.
Dana turned around slowly, her eyes widening as each fact of the situation made itself known to her brain in a stepwise manner. Slowly.
“Hello” Estelle gave her least-intimidating smile. “May I sit?”
“Oh… sure” stuttered Dana, not realising that Estelle would’ve sat anyway.
Everyone offered their variation of ‘hi’s and ‘morning’s as they watched as Estelle settled herself in the seat unceremoniously vacated by Helena. She raised an eyebrow at the almost-canoodling couple. “Honestly, it’s not as if there aren’t enough seats…”
Helena grinned and leaned in to peck her sister on the cheek “And you’re as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as ever, dear sister”
“Sister” breathed Dana with relief.
“Yes. Sister” Alice sid sarcastically “why, did you think you were seeing double?”
“At least she figured it out while you had to make them spell it out!” laughed Shane, reminding Alice of how she came to know.
“I think we all came to know in weird ways” interjected Jenny, before Alice could emphasise her scowl to Shane with words, heaven forbid.
“Yeah we did” agreed Shane.
“So now we all know?” Alice peered around the group.
“Now we all know” nodded Bette.
“Now they all know” Helena looked at Estelle inquiringly. If Estelle was fine with it, it would mean she’d stay. Stay, Estelle.
Estelle sat back in her seat with her tea-no-sugar, glanced around the sunny café, looked at the group of friends gathered round the table, and finally met her sister’s imploring eyes. And smiled. “Good”
(tbc)
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I think i may be first…YEA ME!! now for your story…it was too short…kinda like me…but damnit! Make it more long…I love the fact that Alice made popcorn..cuz do you really blame her..of course she didn’t need to call in big sister! POor Bette! But you continue to ignore my request for some Tina torture…of course now…i don’t think i want her tortured i think i want her back with BETTE!! ……hehehehehhehehe….GOTCHA!!
Great, loved it…but that’s no surprise upto now I loved all your chapters. You always paint a smile on my face, thanks for that.
Love this story! It makes me laugh so much… I’ve done what Helena’s done (fell through the gap between pushed-together seats). Only I didn’t get to sit on Bette Porter’s lap. >.>
Wha-aat ? Please, Vvitch, tell me you absentmindedly forgot to post another couple of pages there… Right ? You have got to be kidding us ?! ( stomping my foot ). LOL ! How can you tell us that you are going to be away from the boards for awhile and leave us with such a teeny tiny chapter ?! This will not do, dear Vvitch. LOL ! LOL ! Oh, well, so before I start, let me please say that there is only so much that you can be taught in yoga, you know… LMAO !So how did Dana become so perceptive anyway ? That girl really does have a sixth sense, eh ?… Well, Dana’s too funny and you’re absolutely right, anytime is a good time for an author to bring back Dana, she has such a great potential for comedy ( so I’mm just have to say : Way to go, V ! ). Speaking of comedy, I wanted to add that I still love you neologisms, you just keep cracking me up with those ( especially when you justify yourself for using them ). Not to mention your own comments on the dialogue that I find sooooo amusing. This chapter was a really nice puff of fresh air and I loved it. Well, now hopefully you won’t keep us waiting too long ( I am kinda concerned though, you know… ). Please, V, don’t torture us, have mercy on us…
this is such a cool story…please post soon…i know you will be away, but surprise us again…bette, estelle, and helena are so cute…the chemistry that you write them with is adorable…thanks!!
Vvvvvvv, thanks for the quick post…..*shocked expression, tears and whining…sorry no emoticons* No post for a while?…Nooooooooo! I need my daily….ummm…weekly…ummm…bi-weekly…well monthly giggle fix!! *raising my eyebrows in disbelief* You’ve checked the seats in the Planet V….ummm….hmmm (meaning disbelief)….hehehe!!! *shaking my head* You are so wrong for forgetting Dana, but the way you crafted this tale, I didn’t miss her….ummmm…. no offense Dana. However, she is a wonderful addition….a little slow….but delightful. *peering at Clarice* Ummmm…Clarice, is that a word? *googling neologisms* Newly invented word or phrase. Well, you learn something new everyday! *turning back to V* Everyone knows now, what twists do you have planned next?
This story is so funny…keep posting.
Hey vvitch! Gotta stay ever vigalant against forgetting certain characters, lol! I love this story. Estelle’s a hoot and Dana’s always a laugh. So everyone knows, except for the baby. You should do a sequel when you get the time. I know you’re busy. And I wonder what Kit’s said to Bette? Everyone being fine about this is so funny. I just love this.
That was so funny and love it. Let see more please, thanks!!!!!!!!
haha, only Jenny’s fridge will contain lollipops. Though everyone’s all smiles and grins now, I still don’t believe Estelle will be able to stay. Make me believe :p you know, by posting and stuff
What they all said! A great chapter and can’t wait until you have time to continue this! So funny, vvitch!
Aaaaaannd i’m all caught up!! Funny as ever! You’re a master in more ways than one V that’s for damn sure!! i love love love love this story!!! oh and your new one too, bloody hilarious!! more more more!
I soo much love your fic, vicky :D I like it so much that I nominated you for “THE BOMB”, “BEST ONGOING SERIES”, “BEST NON-TRADITIONAL” and over all “BEST COMEDY”. At least the last I’m sure you are going to win. We all will vote for you, as long as you keep us fed with new chapters, of course!!! LOL I love Estelle, now that B&H are a happy open couple you should think of getting Tina and Estelle together! I can’t wait for that famous double date LOL It surely will be funny and awkward! :D
Brilliant! This wsas sooo funny! Even before I clicked on ‘Double Vision’ to read the chapter, I just knew I was in for a treat and that’s exactly what I got! :) This story, no, I should say all your work, makes me laugh so much!!! My favourite ws when Helena fell through the space between the seats! OMG! :) So that’s why they call you Master V!!! I really hope you post again soon, I can’t wait to see what happens next :)