“Bette, I would wait forever for you. But I also don’t expect you to. If friendship is all we ever have, I’ll be grateful for it.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why not?”

“Because it makes me hope for more, and hope is dangerous.” The words came out more vulnerable than Bette had intended, and she immediately looked uncomfortable, like she’d revealed too much.

Tina smiled gently. “Sometimes dangerous things are worth the risk.”

Nothing else was said on the matter knowing neither were ready to have that conversation.  They carried on the rest of their afternoon with Bette engaging in conversation and activities with Carson while Tina watched from afar feeling her heart swell and break at the same time.  Swelling from seeing Carson and Bette’s interaction and breaking because Bette  keeping her at arms length is slowly killing her inside.  She agreed to Bette’s terms but at what cost. That remained to be seen

By the time the rain stopped, it was early evening. Carson had fallen asleep on Bette’s couch, exhausted from the day’s excitement.

“I should get him home,” Tina said reluctantly.

“Let me drive you. It’s getting dark.”

As Bette carried a sleepy Carson to the car, Tina felt something shift in her chest. This was what love looked like in practice – not just the grand gestures or passionate declarations, but the quiet care, the consideration for a child’s comfort, the willingness to extend the day just a little longer.

When they reached her apartment, Bette helped carry Carson upstairs, waiting while Tina got him settled in bed.

“Thank you,” Tina said as they stood in her doorway. “For all of it. Today was perfect.”

“For me too. And I will be pick you up Friday for lunch?”

Tina nodded “Ok.  That sounds great”

This time, when Bette hugged her goodbye, it lingered just a moment longer than friendship required. And when she pulled away, her hand briefly touched Tina’s cheek.  Her eyes flicked to Tina’s lips.  The lips she has wanted to taste for years until she snapped herself out of it bringing her eyes back to meet Tina’s who was looking at her like she had hung all the stars in the universe.

And that terrified her.

“So..Day by day,” Bette said softly, but there was slight hint of fear in her tone

“Day by day,” Tina agreed knowing that Bette was skittish and hoping she wouldn’t run from their lunch date If you could even call it that.  Because when Bette is scared Bette runs.  And Tina has seen it before.

~~~~~~~~

Later that night Tina sat in her living room, still feeling the warmth of that brief touch that Bette had laid upon her cheek. Her phone buzzed with a text from Rachel:

How did the planetarium go?

Tina smiled as she typed back: Better than I dared to hope. I think we’re finally building on something positive

That’s wonderful. Want to tell me about it over coffee tomorrow?

Yes. I have so much to tell you.

As she got ready for bed, Tina reflected on how much had changed in just a few weeks. She had a friend who understood her journey, a son who was thriving, and most importantly, she had Bette slowly letting her back into her life. It wasn’t everything she wanted yet. But it was enough to build on, one careful day at a time.

And maybe, just maybe, Bette’s walls were starting to crack – even if she wasn’t ready to admit it.  Tina only hoped Bette wouldn’t start building new ones if that happened.