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Fallacy (Part 1)
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“I’ve heard that,” Bette agreed. “But-” She lost her words for a moment because Tina had slid into her arms and settled her cheek against the flattest part of Bette’s shoulder.
“Oh,” Tina said, a hint of amusement in her tone. “Am I distracting you?”
“A little.”
Tina bit her lip. “Are you having certain, uh interesting ideas?”
“Yes,” she breathed back and Tina just chuckled. Bette looked down at her, at her upturned face, pale and fragile. And she didn’t want to think about her like that anymore, she didn’t want to-she wanted to accept the change, move on, equal partnership, everything’s okay, Bette you don’t have to be in control I love you anyway stop ***** up just stop just let things happen.
Bette breathed again and then choked on it.
She loved Tina to the point of obsession, but it didn’t matter one bit.
It didn’t change anything.
*****, she thought. She was quiet for so long that Tina had drifted back to sleep, head nestled against her shoulder, gripping her hand gently. *****. I’m a goddamn failure.
***
In the morning, the shadows more or less dissipated. The sun was usually glaring because it had the reflection of the pool and the reflection of the glass doors and they usually forgot to close the curtains. Bette yawned and stretched across the entire width of the bed because Tina wasn’t there.
The clock said 7:00. She woke up at the same time everyday and she couldn’t condition herself out of it, job or no job. Alarm clocks had always been a bit of a formality; she woke up at the right time anyway. It was just how things had been since college, maybe high school. It was tinged with desperation these days, of course, but it still existed all the same.
She stood in the doorway of the nursery and watched Tina feed Angelica and she felt a little better about everything. Especially when Tina looked up and noticed her and said “Hi” in that soft way that she had. Especially, then, Bette was so struck by how much she loved her that she couldn’t be insecure if she tried.
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Heavy stuff… I’m glad to see you have come to write again, I thought “broken girls whith strange frames” was so excellent. I know, given your obvious insight into tlw characters thus far and the connection that you mentioned at one point in your own commentary, that Bette and Tina are special to you. This deconstruction of a, shall we say “troubled” Bette brings with it some sadness, I hope that B&T can connect/reconnect and entwine in every sense that we who love them yearn for.
wow- very interesting. a perspective that i don’t think that i’ve seen before. your talent is unmistakable though. thanks for this!
Hmmm I’m intrigued. Please continue.
Interestingly angsty Bette paired with a calm and content Tina… oooh, what will happen next?
I am really into this story, and I hope that you continue…
OOh! *rubbing hands together* THis is really good!!! I’m so excited about you writing another story! Can’t wait for more…and more! Thanks!
You’ve got my attention, I wanna know where this is going. I hope you choose to continue.
this is so great – very interesting perspective – love it
bitter sweet story. (I like it)I hope your post soon.
omg this story is the saddest thing ever” i love you and you love sleeping with me” aggggh wtf is that tinnna noo shes not a nypho she looovees bette to!!! please let them be happy and love each other or let bette get over herslef lol bettes my fav and i love her but i mean plleeeeeaaaase lol even though i know how she feels sad face lol anyways loooooovvvvve the story please post soon thanx byeness<33358973689
jeeze I cant stand how every new story is so horrible now….not the writing (thats great) just the plots of a distraught bnt
Good start and this is going to be awesome. Ok post soon, thanks!
Jeez, Bette, Bette, Bette. Sometimes I have to remind myself that B&T aren’t coconut shells that I can bang together and everything make like silly cymbals or end up having coconut milk or something. Even in fiction, love is hard. Yeah, well, if it’s easy, it won’t be love at all (yeah, yeah, heard that before. Litanylecturemantra).
So happy to have you back, Rachel. So glad to be reading your post again. Missed you so FUCKING MUCH. Please update your fic soon.
Cheers!
Rachel, let me comment first before reading… you are the TRUE COMEBACK kid. I was wondering if you’d ever post again. I’m so fucking glad you hit the keyboards and slammed down the RETURN key. So mighty glad to have you back.
PLEASE keep coming back. Missed you more than I could ever say (or type).
Cheers!
Wow. On one hand I’m so happy there back together, but at the same time I’m so worried that if she’s not careful it will be Bette who gets lost this time, trying to be all that she thinks Tina wants her to be. Bette fucked up, but Tina has always loved her for being Bette, not for how much money she had, or what she did for a living. Bette needs to let Tina know her fears and concerns, you can’t pretend things are alright when there not.
“We’re together because I was weak. I was weak and I wanted a hug and you wanted to sleep with me and that’s why we’re together—because I love you and you love sleeping with me.”
Were you referencing the brief encounter in ep. 9?
I know the experience of papering over a large crack in a relationship with habitual responses.
The cadence of Bette’s thoughts and responses – lapsing into almost clinical introspection – is so different from her behavior in other fics that this chapter bears re-reading several times to fully grasp what is being revealed. The layers of meaning are many. This is post-partum Bette. I think she is depressed. Seriously.
And I think this is a very fine story.
Thanks.
Great story but how very sad it is. One thing is for sure Bette can’t go on for long like this. Looking forward to much much more.