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    Feeling Bound – Tina Kennard

    TinaFABulousPortrait

    I was raised to want a ring on my finger and to keep it there. It’s unheard of in my family of Virginia and North Carolina cousins for anyone to ever get divorced.  As proof, family marriages have survived a spouse losing all the tobacco crop money in a poker game at the club.  And I do mean all of it.

    Does this make my family one of incredibly forgiving people, or is it solely their aversion to the shame they associate with divorce?  I wonder, more than I’d like to, what deep roots and archaic traditions of my upbringing are still buried way, way in the back of my mind.

    I’m a wolf in sheep’s clothing whenever I go home to North Carolina, where no one suspects me of being anything other than their happy cousin, living all the way out here in California.  Where I’ve told them I have a job I love.

    It’s a tale I’ve spun gladly. I date and go to the beach and from 9 to 5 everyday I work to save the environment, from all kinds of horrible people threatening the food we eat, the very air we breath.

    It was so natural, as if running the scales on a piano, how I went from straight to bi to falling in love with Bette.

    Is that why I’m still uncomfortable, all these days later, when the topic of bisexuals had entered our conversation with Shane?

    ”What Tina?  Your wool’s not completely dyed, yet?” Bette had asked, before moving onto another ridiculous topic.  Alice dating vampires.

    As if…

    So, why am I still in the closet?

    I’d like a drink, but it’s too early and I’m riding my bike, getting much needed exercise.  Unsteadily, I turn into the parking lot of a coffee shop.  While locking my bike, I consider calling my cousin Susan or Meredith or my cousin Sam and saying – after the hellos and how’s the crop this year – Guess what?  Ten days ago I had a biracial baby with my lesbian biracial lover.

    Then I imagine the line going dead or them taking the first Delta flight out of Raleigh to give me a good old fashioned talking to.  Or worse, trying some kind of Protestant intervention.

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    Comments

    1. Oh Blackbird, it is not the first time i a read it, but it seems better than the first time! Better is not the right word, it is amazing!

      I truly enjoy the inner thoughts from Tina and Bette, they are funny, sexy but most important they tell and explain their feelings, reasons why they have handled or have done things or spoke in the past or more recent.

      It’s fantastic how you let them tell about their past and memories.

      I’m already ready for your next chapter !

      Thanks again for reposting this fantastic story!

    2. Bibi, There are maybe 120 words that are similar to the story from 2014, making this one very different. After I enjoyed polishing “Remembering Me” (after your hints) I’m finding great themes in that series when all the stories had them “them behind the scenes” and my imagination of what might have happened,

      It’s a funny thing writers say to each other about something they’ve written – that one day they may go back to it and find pieces of gold to use for something else.

      That happened here and my storytelling has improved over time.

      Delighted you enjoyed the tale! Always appreciate your comments and that you enjoy my stories.

      Blackbird

      • I am delighted you found the pieces of gold to use it for something else, this new and improved version.

        Only like 120 words that are similar 😮 wow, i already thought that this was not the original story, but you wrote it a few years ago and i can’t remember the story word for word.

        I will reread it somewhere in the future.

        I am looking forward to the moment Tina get her wish to have a ring on her finger.

    3. Hey Bb

      Very nice and hot chapter, I have read this story on your website, but I think here is a little different, improved, I would say; I like very much your narrative from Tina’s point of view, how she describe herself emerging from a conservative and traditional family toward a free environment where she can openly behave the way she is and feels, and then her story with Bette. Thanks so much for the chapter I’ll wait for the update.

      P

      • Thanks Proteonomics, As I said to Bibi, I’m changing the storylines in this series that I wrote in 2014. I’m planning on eliminating many tiresome things the writers did in the show, like Henry and Jodie, as examples. We won’t see them.

        Here in this rewrite, our lovers are together and Tina, as you’ve just read, has decided she wants a ring on her finger, and soon.

        Bye for now,
        Blackbird

      • Nice of you to come down from the ethers and drop me a line! Nice to see you. I’m delighted you’re enjoying the progress. Presently, I’m staring at the ceiling trying to help Tina figure out how to test the marriage waters with Bette or perhaps tricking her into flying the Boston. I’m leaning toward tricking her.

        Let’s see what happens…

        Blackbird

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