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    Feelings… Chapter 1

    Story written on June 22, 2006 by arkaycee.
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    68 votes, average: 3.66 out of 568 votes, average: 3.66 out of 568 votes, average: 3.66 out of 568 votes, average: 3.66 out of 568 votes, average: 3.66 out of 5 (68 votes, average: 3.66 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 24
    Words: 2379
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=61410
    Author Notes:

    FIX IT CHALLENGE #8–How the conversation should have gone when Tina told Bette she had feelings for men again.

    Tina then said, “You had some nerve, Bette…wanting me to start our family when you were already fucking that carpenter!  I remember it now…I called you one day, and James said you weren’t at the office.  I called her, and I got her voice mail.  You told me you were supposed to work with her to go over final plans for the exhibit.   I remember she acted strangely when I saw her later that day and asked if she would help us fix up the Center.  Now, I know why!  Even at the jail, there was a weird dynamic between you.  And at Provocations—you couldn’t wait to get me away from her! 

    “How could you do that to me, Bette?  That showed such a lack of respect for me—and for us!  Was I so miserable to be around?  Was I no longer attractive to you?  Did you have to get another biracial girl—maybe Yolanda’s comments triggered your need for somebody who looked nothing like me!”  She struggled to continue, voice quavering, “What you did was so unconscionable—I was still so hurt over losing our baby, and I was trying to find my way.  You were so busy and were never around.  So I had to find it alone.  Why weren’t you there, Bette?  Where were you?  Why did you abandon me?  How could you go on, ‘business as usual’ during that time?  WHY DID YOU FUCK HER, BETTE?  WHY DID YOU WANT HER TO FUCK YOU?!?”   She dissolved into tears, sobs wracking her body.

    Bette struggled to hear all this venom, to just listen and not respond defensively.  Still, she held her peace.  She understood that she was in the wrong by stepping out on Tina.  Still, she wanted some recognition for her pain in all of this, too.  She never allowed herself to cry over the loss of their child.  Tina never knew half of what she had to do to deal with the protesters prior to Provocations.  Bette tried her best to be supportive of Tina, but all of her attempts were rejected. 

    When Candace came along, it was at a time that things were silent in the bedroom—and elsewhere– between her and Tina.  Though Bette tried her best to resist the carpenter’s advances (while Candace followed Bette’s lead), her longing for contact eventually made it impossible to continue avoiding Candace.  For this, she felt intense guilt, yet it wasn’t enough to make her stop.  And she couldn’t talk to Tina about it, but it was worse the way Tina found out about it.  It’s almost as if she wanted to get caught.

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    Comments

    10. I liked how Bette let Tina blurt out what she was thinking without responding until Tina was done. I know I have a bad habit of interrupting when I’m being confronted.

    17. This is defintely the way that it should have gone when Tina opened up to Bette about her feelings towards men. Bette listening and then actually telling Tina that she was totally wrong but was working to keep her soul mate from running away.

    22. Just came back from holidays and while catching up with fanfics I saw you posted already the fifth chapter of a story. I’ve started with the first one, which I see was already written a long time ago. I can tell you from the first paragraph your powerful writing amazed me. I’m gonna read the next chapters in a bliss and comment on all of them.

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