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The Earth is infinite in its way of constantly turning, changing, and evolving yet it pays no attention to the people that rely on its constant movement to survive. It’s the same with the heart that beats within us yet we are so oblivious to it that we take it for granted.
The heart shows us how to love and in a contradictory manner it can also be the source of our pain. I say this because I have experienced love and I have experienced pain and yet my heart still beats. Tina is my life and I tried every day to show her that she is the most important person in the world to me. She is my everything and there is nothing or no one that could ever change that.
I sit here staring at the rippling water of our pool waiting for her to come back to me as she decides if she can move past the hurt I have caused. She thinks I don’t care about her feelings or her opinions. That I ignore her and do not give her my full attention when she is trying to talk to me. That I don’t value her sacrifices she has made in our relationship. I see that I have failed her in many ways and I want to be better for her so I am trying to be a better me.
I admit I have been distracted as things happening around me have completely engulfed me. I have been in a daze and have neglected what’s important in my life–Tina. If she only knew the depth of my love for her I think it would literally carry her away.
I’m not perfect. I have flaws. But it’s that imperfection that makes me want to be the best wife and lover I can be for the love of my life. It’s a constant struggle that drives me and pushes me to not make the same mistakes.
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love and making a relationship is work is the hard part. It’s 50/50. Give and take. Tina gives so much of herself to me. What have I given her in return?. That’s the million dollar question? I know I love her more than my own life and yet I fail to make her feel that way.
Where is the fine line? How do I find it? I’m waiting for an apple to fall from above and hit me on the head to give me the answer. I’m just trying to be what she needs. Love is wonderful when you find it but it’s not without it’s complications and roadblocks. But the irony of it is that without Love, none of this would be possible. To grow and mature in a relationship that will last till the end of time. I have that with Tina. I know it and she knows it and we will get through this storm together.
Love binds us and we continue to nurture it like a flower. We water it, give it sun and watch it blossom and continue grow. We treat it like it is fragile so we do not break it yet on the other hand we have to test it so we know it’s strong. Maybe that’s the fine line.
”Bette?” I hear as I’m startled out of my thoughts from hearing the most beautiful voice in the world behind me. I turn and see Tina standing at the door with her eyes glistening with tears. I get up and we immediately embrace as tears are now streaming down both of our faces. I pull back and wipe the tears from her eyes.
”Tina? I’m so sorry that I gave you a reason to doubt my love for you and I promise from here on out that I will never take you or your love for granted again.” I say as Tina shakes her head and I’m left a little confused.
”No Bette. It’s not just one sided, We both have to communicate better and we can’t do that apart. We need to work on this together. I love you and I’m here”
I smile at her and gently press my lips to hers as we share a loving kiss and I pull away to stare into her hazel eyes.
“There is nothing we can not get through as long as we have each other” I say and she smiles pulling me close to her. I close my eyes and sigh as I am finally home now.