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First Year- Chapter 5
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He was extremely thin but very handsome. His hair was thin like a baby’s. His breathing was labored even with the oxygen mask on his face. All over his skin he had various lesions. He was extremely lethargic and when he was awake he was confused at times. But with all of that, when I walked in the room to talk to him, he greeted me with a smile and said just barely above a whisper, “Hi beautiful. I haven’t had too many interns as good looking as you. Where have you been all my life?”
I smiled and tried to hold back my tears. I had never seen anybody so sick. Despite having multiple organ involvement with his HIV, he still had it in him to flirt. How unfortunate it was that he would acquire this virus by receiving something that was meant to save his life. Here it was more than 20 year later it was finally taking it. We talked about all that was happening with him. He had a disseminated case of MAC, a TB-like bacterium, that was causing intractable diarrhea and pneumonia which was no longer responding to usual therapy. I looked at him as he seemed to just refuse to give in to his disease. He did not want his to leave his mother alone. He was holding on for her and she was not ready to let him go. My heart was breaking for them. I knew I would need Alice to help with this family to cope.
After disappearing for some time, Stan came back to me to present Joshua and discuss his case. He started off with an apology. “Helena, I don’t know what to say. I’ve never seen anything like this. He’s been sick for so long and he is still struggling to live.”
“Yeah, he is fighting for his mom. She is not ready to let him go. She wants us to keep trying. She wants him to keep fighting. So now that you’ve seen him do you think he deserves AIDS?”
He covered his face and began to cry, “No. My God no, nobody deserves this. Nobody deserves this no matter who they are. I’m sorry for what I said.”
He remained subdued for the rest of the night and was extremely helpful in getting the other patients admitted. He presented Joshua’s very complicated case very well on morning rounds and surprisingly, even with a humanistic flare. In the morning he spoke with Joshua’s mom at length about her other sons. He was very moved by the experience and interrupted me while I was writing my notes and wrapping up my admission. “Helena, I just want to say I really liked working with you last night. You’ve made me appreciate that no one deserves this disease, gay or straight. No one should live and die like that.”
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I actually felt sorry for Stan. Being fed ignorance from the time he was born never gave him a chance but it’s his responsibility to educate himself and learn for his own experiences. I felt he did just that with his rounds with Helena. Hopefully when Stan go back to Bette some of his new humanity will rub off on her. So far the only person I heard Helena say she loathed was Bette, Stan and Kroll. I can cross off Stan he’s a man and Kroll well some how I don’t think she Helena’s type. Will the two heart breaks be Dylan and Carmen and then that will leave our lovely lady all to Bette. Thanks for the clarification on Bette’s field it made sense. I guess that’s why the pyschologist on Law&Order:SVU had some knowledge of IM.
Geezzzzzzz, Squirly you got my head spinning. I liked Helena in alpha mode, she can be insecure but when her passions kick up WATCH OUT. The way StanZman ate crow was probaby the most important lesson in his young life so far. Good for him getting it the first time. I’m also thinking Dr. PK is riding Helena becasue she wants her to be the best. Bette, well Betts just doing her thing, cant’t wait to see whre that goes. I’ll try to be a good girl till Saturday a.m. when you post my St. Valentines Day present. Thank you, Md, aka Oma
I really loved this chapter, Squirl! It was Helena at her best – bossy but with a compassionate twist. She seems to have figured out the politics of her internship year. I wonder what’s up with Kroll and why she’s favoring the Bette-ster. Although you have told us that Bette is straight, I’m thinking that may not be so true. Perhaps her and Tina have something starting? Maybe she’s just in the closet. I know Helena’s going to cheat on Dylan with Carmen but could you reconsider Bette? Maybe Bette gets drunk one evening and she finds out from Stan that Helena’s gay and one thing leads to another. I meant to type RILF in my last comment (resident I’d love to f***) in a similar vain to the well-known MILF. Can’t wait for Moma’s post on Saturday!
Apologies for the blanket comment regarding neurosurgeons, I think we experienced one who was all nuts and bolts..str8 with no chaser…lacking humanistic flare…but he warmed up over time :) At any rate, loved the update! You definitely really get a sense of the physical and emotional challenge of the profession…the training…and of the families you care for…This is definitely going to be interesting. With Jenny the libidio squelcher and Al the caring, quirky social worker, drama will be par for the course and I suspect everyone will continue to learn more about themselves and what they are made of…I definitely want to believe that the hazing the residents are getting is because it is truly life or death…favoritism is unfortunately a part of human nature. Besides, even here….no one is immune from Bette’s charm…even those who loathe her! PPS
Heya there S, you whisphered too low for me to understand who Helena was going to end up with ,,,lol…but oh well I’ll have to just keep on reading huh..haha! Well it was good to see that Stan actually changed some and let’s hope for the better. As for Kroll I am thinking that she want’s Helena to be the best and see’s much potoential in her that is why she is always asking the hard questions. good chappy S!!!!
That was a really good update…that Jenny – you gotta love her…loved H’s interaction with stan, very thoughtfully done!! Cheers
Well written Squirl. I think that experience for Stan was long overdue. I’m from the West Indies myself & sadly many of my brethren think exactly as he did. Anxiously waiting for the next chapter. Cheers mate, PPS!
at least some other type of ignorance has been lifted in this constant learning timestable
It was about this time last night that I was on the first page when the electricity went off for the 3rd time and stayed off. Bit windy. Take 2. Hmmmm…yes I know quite a few folks from the Caribbean. They tend to be very sweet, and the black folk do tend to be extremely homophobic none the less. I’m glad Stan learned better and did so quickly. Joshua must have been a fighter to survive both the hemophilia and 20 years of AIDS. Poor Joshua’s mom, even if it wasn’t all her fault she MUST have felt terribly guilty to lose all her sons. My brother lost so many friends. I hope none of them had to deal with judgmental staff, there really is no room for that sort of thing in medicine.
Wait! Dinner with Mom is the time to feel sexy again?