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Forged in Fire: Chapter 25
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What if she relapsed?
What if she never shook this need? This craving for release?
Was Tina her drug now? Did she go from needing a hit to needing Tina? Did she trade one addiction for another?
The thoughts began to race in her mind, and she began to feel hot and sticky. Walking quickly, she stood in front of the freezer, letting the cold air waft over her. She took off her shirt and stood there in her bra, taking deep breaths, imaging that Tina was beside her, coaching her through it.
When she began to relax, she heard Alice’s ringtone and raced to find her phone.
“Hey Al. What are you up to?” she asked.
“Painting my nails. FYI, you’re on speakerphone.”
“Are you home?” asked Bette.
“Yep.”
“Tasha there?”
“Nope. She’s out. Had a meeting or something. What are you doing?” asked Alice.
Bette looked at the now-closed freezer. “Chilling.”
“I was going to meet up with a few friends. One of them is new to the area. I was wondering if you and Tina wanted to hang out. Tasha’s tied up, but I thought maybe you guys might want to get out of the house for a bit.”
Bette sighed. “Tina’s out of town for work.”
“Good. Girls’ night out! You have been dodging me for weeks now,” said Alice.
It was true. Alice had been asking to double date or go clubbing with her friends but Bette and Tina had been busy and non-committal recently.
“I know. I’m sorry. Things have been crazy.”
Bette walked into the living room and sat back down on the couch.
“Everything okay?” asked Alice.
“Yeah. We’re fine. Just busy. What’s up tonight? Where are you going?”
“Pregame at The Planet then over to SheBar. Maybe stop by Rainbow Room later,” Alice replied.
Bette smiled. “I haven’t been to Rainbow Room in a long time. Wasn’t that the place where you – – -,” Bette began.
Alice sighed. “Yes. That’s where I got drunk, danced topless, and you had to pull me down off the bar top.”
Bette laughed, genuinely. She threw her head back and her throat moved as the memory of that moment came dancing back into her mind.
Alice continued. “And I know you know exactly what happened at Rainbow Room. You do this every time I bring up the place. Acting like you don’t remember so I can relate my humiliation all over again.”
The gallery owner kept laughing; spitting her words out when she could. “Yes. But you….you always….you always fall for it.”
“Ha ha. Are you in or not, Porter?”
Bette wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’m in. I’m in. Who all is going to be there?”
“Me and Brit. A few of her friends. That girl Tara from my job. And maybe Marnie. I’m trying to hook her up with Tara.”
Bette nodded. “How is Brittany?”
Alice replied, “She’s good. She’s dating Veronica Samuels. She’s coming out, too.”
Bette huffed. “I hate Veronica Samuels.”
“I know you do. But she’ll be sucking Brit’s face all night. Don’t worry about her. Just come hang out with me.”
“I’ll be there. Oh, hey… this Tara chick…is she cute? Do you want me to still set her up? Marnie is a good time kinda girl. Not a relationship kinda girl.”
Alice replied, “Well yeah. If you find someone, hook it up. Otherwise…I figured Marnie could at least give Tara a good night in bed. We all need to get laid, right?”
Bette chuckled. “Yes, we do.”
“And you’re definitely in?”
“Yep. I’m in. Tina’s gone. I might as well hang out with my bestie, right?”
Alice feigned hurt. “I see. I’m second best. The filler for Tina when she’s away?”
“Ohhh….Alice. Girl. You know you’ll always be my bottom bitch, Al,” said Bette.
Alice laughed out loud. “Your bottom bitch? What?”
Bette was smiling. “Yes. The bottom bitch is at the top of the pimp’s harem of bitches. You’re my number one.”
Alice chuckled. “I know what a bottom bitch is. I’m just surprised that you do. And that you’re referring to yourself as the pimp.”
Bette shrugged. “A little levity goes a long way. “
Alice replied. “Keep that shit going. I like it! Meet me at my place. We’ll take an uber. And hey, Bette?”
“Yes? What?”
“Don’t dress too sexy. If your fiancé finds out the wrong woman even looked at you, I’m afraid I might take an ass-kicking,” said Alice.
Bette smiled. “Never fear, Al. I will tone it down.”
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No no no Bette! Please do not do this. Call Tina. Call your sponsor. Got a bad feeling. Bette has so many insecurities. Tina should have shared what Melvin said or part of it at least. Bette cannot seem to be without Tina. Alice is only going to make it easier for Bette to fall off the wagon.
I think Bette and Tina are both too rush (u-haul, engagement now) in their relationship, and with that they both trying to mask their real problem. Tina trying to forget about her daddy and family issues, and Bette about drug and drink obsessions. They both start this relationship when they were not fully healthy, and they still not healing. Especially Bette from whom she just replacing her obsessions with drug on obsession with Tina.
So maybe they need to step back, maybe spending more time separately, individually solving their problems, and only after that going on the next step in relationship if they’ll want. Because if not – this relationship not lasting long.
This is too much temptation for Bette….going out drinking with the girls while Tina is out of town is not a good thing. And the fact that she suspects that she is substituting one addiction for another is not good. What she should do is go for a run… go for a swim. Talk to Tina before bed and get up early tomorrow and go to work.. Get work to the point that you can take time off to be with Tina when she is available. The clubbing part of your life Bette is over….at least never without Tina. In fact if you need something to do, go see Kit and Dylan. There is a whole lot of life beside going to clubs and trying to get others hooked up.
I think Bette needs to go back to her therapist. Perhaps she needs a tuneup in the therapy department. This is not a good decision Bette – not good at all to go out with Alice.
Thank you for this chapter. …
I so do not like Alice!
Don’t do it Bette, please do not do it!
For once I am not wanting you to post soon!
SG
We’ve seen Bette rise and make definite measures to deal with the to the temptation and panic attacks of relapse SUCCESSFULLy so she knows that she is willing to keep her sobriety. She’s been making sound choices even when her insecurities have presented themselves suddenly and withOUT provocation.
Just because Bette is the type of person that goes all in when it comes to her partner, doesn’t mean that she has replaced “one drug with another”. I think she will discover this and will be rewarded in her relationship with Tina. She expresses her passion for love & relationship turned to the highest setting UNafraid of going for it.
My prob is that when you hang with the type of “friend” that is Alice, one has to realize that her motivation to “see & be” within her long, lost friend is not pure. When Bette was attacked & raped by Sidney, she DIDN’T call, nor tell at a later point, Alice.
Mayby I’m creating a mountain out of a molehill, but Alice doesn’t care about what Tina’s response would be if Bette is tempted to “fall” by other women like she pretends. She wants to continue in promoting the “playah” reputation of Bette and doesn’t stand to loose anything in her viewpoint. Alice sees Bette’s relationship as the same as Bette&Sidney’s which means, “partay”!!!!
Alice is suppose to be Bette’s BFF right? So what “friend” knowingly draws another into the environment where that friend might fall?
Seems like “clubbing” like in the “good old days” should be one big flashing warning to Bette, but perhaps we underestimate the internal progress she has made in spite of probing questions she’s asking herself. I mean, haven’t we all had patterns and behaviors that seemed to be solidly engraved only to find that when we were through with the shit, INDEED we did WALK. AWAY without the draw and vice grip that we didn’t think could /would ever be broken?
Sometimes we surprise ourselves right?
This is the Bette who has only slept with two women – Sidney and Tina right? But she was into drinking and doing drugs with Sidney? Bette doesn’t have a player reputation in this story right? So what’s all this pimp talk? Is she suddenly the lesbian matchmaker? Some how this seems a bit off to me….but let see how it goes…
MTS, thank you for another chapter that made me think.
First of all: I’m with SassyGran – I so do not like this Alice.
Scenario 1: Bette will succumb to her addiction and lets herself being pulled into all the party crap that Miss-the-world-revolves-around-me-I-don’t-give-a-shit-about-others-Alice. A sure way to have Tina throw the engagement ring in Bette’s face and leave.
Scenario 2: Bette goes with Alice just for the chance of a nice evening with friends, chatting and having fun. She discovers that she does miss Tina but she finds a new strength in herself to overcome her cravings. After some time at the Planet she goes home and to bed. Still missing Tina but proud to have won this round against herself.
Scenario 2a: all the above but add an self-centered Alice, spending the night with one shot after another and trying to convince Bette to drink and more – totally ignoring Bette’s illness. Bette realizes that Alice is far from a friend and leaves after putting A in her place.
I’m really worried about Bette. Please don’t let her relapse! Tina seems to be able to get closure on her past (at least that’s what I think the withdrawal of the interview means), please let Bette make a step in the right direction as well.
Thanks for the entertainement, MTS. Enjoy your weekend, sending lots of happy thoughts, stay safe
KP
Ahhh….All great concerns and feedback. Yes, our Bette is very dear to us and we don’t want to see her fall. She needs to be able to stand on her own two feet. She needs to push herself to be independent as well.
Bottom bitch.. lmao… to funny.. thank you and I see trouble having those feelings and going straight to your problem at hand will only tempt you more recipe for disaster. But I’m sure shes got this under control. As they always tell them selves. Thank you MTS