Dont worry, wed share custody of her, Tina reassured them with a sigh.

Why are we even talking about this? Bette demanded, massing her temples.

At that moment, they all heard a loud bark.

Shane wrinkled her nose. What the *****? Dude, was that a dog?

Lucy bounded into the room, a chewed up leather shoe grasped firmly in her mouth.

Tina smiled. Kids, meet your new sister Lucy.

Aww! Alice exclaimed, dropping to her knees to pet the puppy. Yuck! Whats this? she said, taking the chewed-up, spit-covered shoe from the puppy and holding it gingerly between two fingers.

That, Bette said, her voice sounding strained, WAS my favorite pair of shoes.

Shane leaned down and poked at it. Shoe, you mean.

Bette jumped up. Dammit, dog, dont you know those shoes cost me $300?!

You paid $300 for a pair of shoes? Alice added in disbelief. Besides, I dont think Lucy has a sense of monetary value yet.

She probably ***** in the other shoe, Shane put in, ever helpful.

Wait, she is house-trained, right? Alice questioned.

Tina paused. Um, well, uh, sort of.

What do you mean, sort of? Bette demanded.

She knows the basics. We just have to work with her on it, Tina replied. To prove her point, Lucy squatted and left a small puddle on the floor.

Think of it as practice, Alice suggested, backing away from the puddle, making a face.

Bette pulled her hair in frustration. Dog! she shouted.

She has a name, Bette, Tina said disapprovingly.

The puppy cowered, looking upset. Aww, you upset the baby, Bette, Alice reprimanded, picking the puppy up and giving it a hug. She was rewarded with a slobbery kiss on the lips. Yuck. Aunt Alice has to teach you about hygiene, Lucy.

Dogs mouths are cleaner than humans mouths, Shane put in.

Alice glanced at her. Thats definitely true about your mouth. Who knows where thats been?

Shane leered at her. Why dont you ask Dana?

Alice set the dog down, opening her mouth to retort, but Tina stepped in. Come on, you two. Help us clean this up.