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    Hindsight – Chapter 15

    Story written on January 12, 2007 by citygirl75.
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    Number of Comments: 25
    Words: 1934
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=63969
    Author Notes:

    Bette Porter: Today was too precious for me to want that for her.

    Hindsight – Chapter 14

    Main Entry: hindsight
    Pronunciation: ‘hIn(d)-"sIt
    Function: noun

    Meaning:  understanding the nature of an event after it has happened

    "Hindsight is always better than foresight"

     

    Thirty nine minutes had turned into thirty minutes. I wondered where Tina was now. Maybe she was at the house that she shared with him, maybe she was already on her way back. Maybe he was at the house and they were now fighting about her decision to let me see Angelica. I hoped that wasn’t the case, as hard as these last eight weeks had been I wouldn’t want Tina to suffer for her actions, I might have done yesterday, but not today. Today was too precious for me to want that for her.

    Angelica sat beside me, as I held onto her, making sure that an accident didn’t befall her as we were so close to the pool. I looked down at her curly mop of hair and thought back to the pictures that my mother had taken of me when I was a child. My hair as equally unruly as Angelica’s was now. I thought about how I had told Joyce Wishnia that I didn’t think that Tina was qualified to raise Angelica. How could I have been so wrong? I tried not to think that I was somehow blaming my own mother for leaving me as the reason that I wanted to take our child away from Tina. If I was I had surely paid for that misjudgement in the recent past.

    I looked over my shoulder at the house that we had shared for all those years, about how so much had changed and yet when I saw that house I still thought of it as Tina’s rightful home. The home that we should be bringing our daughter up in, learning to understand what it means to be a family. How I wished I knew what Tina’s intentions were by coming here last night. Did she come out of pity? Did she come because someone had told her that I wasn’t getting by at all? Or did she just feel guilty? I can’t make up my mind which is worst.

    I should do something. That will make the time go by faster. I got up from the pool, careful to bring Angelica with me with as little amount of water as possible. I listened as my daughter giggled at how she had got my top wet. I smiled, the kind of smile that I didn’t think that I was capable of anymore. The kind of smile that only two people had ever been able to inspire in me. My daughter and Tina. Alice used to make fun of me when Tina and I had first started dating. She would tell me that she always knew when Tina had entered a room because my face lit up. Then she would ask, in mock hurt, why my face never lit up for her like that. I couldn’t ever answer. The reasons were too intangible. All I knew was that when I was in Tina’s presence my heart would beat a little faster, my breath would be a tiny bit more shallow. It was love, but I was too proud to admit it to Alice, I only wanted Tina to know how much she meant to me.

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    Comments

    1. Excellent post, CG. I hope your retirement is temporary for it would be a grave loss to this site if it were to be permanent. Maybe you could do one offs?

    2. Retirement? retirement? What are you talking about? What in God’s name (yeah, you heard me, old nameless one’s name!) do you mean? You’re far too young. Piffle! Just rest your thumbs and let Jo kick your ass periodically until you come up with a fresh idea, doesn’t have to be in serial form. In the mean time, that was quite good and very enjoyable. Now stop scaring your reading public.

    5. You write so beautifully and I hope that you will reconsider your retirement. Take a break, enjoy life but please come back. Besides we need someone who truly likes Tina. Great post.

    12. Great chappy. I hope “Mommy” is home for good! Now, about that retirement thingy…..wuz-up? OK, we fanfic “fans” shall grant you a sabatical for a temporary period of time (yes, did you not know there was a committee?), but please come back!

    15. Please, citygirl… if you EVER feel like sharing your writing with us again – DO IT! You will be missed… everything you write has been so worth reading. Thank you for all your wonderful stories!!!

    16. citygirl you are too young to retire, I hope it is just a break your taking not permanent retirement. This FFC site has lost far too many really good writers over the last year and a bit and its sad to see another one go. Thank you for sharing your writing skills with us and take care.

    17. You can’t retire!I fricken luv your stories along with everyone else! I really luved “the fall”. I had no idea you were done. BOO HOO I hope you come back to us soon, maybe just a break!PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE and PLEASE again!

    18. Thank you so much for so eloquently writing this Bette chapter, it flowed so well,and you were quite easy to persuade really! I think I might work on you again in the future, because the site won’t be the same if you are in retirement! Anyway… people always come out of retirement… you won’t be able to jump that ship forever!

    19. Dear citygirl! Wow… As you may or may not know, I have fallen in love with the depths of this story since I read the first word of it… Its a gorgeous turmoil of raging memories and racing hearts, racing to eachother… For you to pick up, so beaytifully, where Jo has left off. To do it justice like that… I applaud you! I think its not easy to write a chapter for someone else, but you caught the essence and did so beautifully! I am in awe!!!! I too hope that this retirement is only temporary… Pls keep on writing what your heart tells you to write, yoúr way with words is magnificent! And maybe one day, you’ll post again, just like that, because you know you can’t miss us :) ;) Thank you for this wonderfull chapter!

    20. You cannot be serious! Just a writing hiatus and then a “come back” – please. Love this story and happy that Jo let you guest-write for it. Eagerly anticipating your next story!

    23. Great update to this story City! Now whats all this talk about a retirement? what Retirement!! I dont think that’s an option, maybe a little holiday. LOL! Hope you come back soon with another great story! Thanks

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