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    Hindsight – Chapter 18

    Hindsight – Chapter 18

    Main Entry: hindsight
    Pronunciation: ‘hIn(d)-"sIt
    Function: noun

    Meaning:  understanding the nature of an event after it has happened

    "Hindsight is always better than foresight"

     

    She looked bewildered as I watched her, it made my mind wonder if she really was okay, at times I thought she looked like her old self and other times, her eyes went somewhere that I didn’t have access to.

     

    “Bette…”

      

    She was looking at me, but she wasn’t there, I saw how she was taking deep breaths, she always used to do that when she was getting ready to say something, or she needed to calm herself.

      

    “Bette…?” I repeated.

     

    She looked like she was shaking her mind from thoughts and she creased her brow as if only hearing me for the first time. 

     

    “Uh… sorry… what did you say?” she mumbled.

      

    “Are you okay?”

      

    “Um… yeah… I think so… I… um… shall we go inside and get ready for the picnic in the park?”

      

    “Are you sure you feel up to it?” I said quietly, hoping that she knew how concerned I was about her, that fact that we weren’t a family any longer didn’t mean I didn’t care, but I also knew that I had been lapse on showing that these least seven weeks, but we had agreed on this being the start on something new, to be good parents to Angelica… but I knew that deep down inside of me, there was a part of me that told me I wanted and needed to be a good support for her too, and dare I even think about the butterflies that flurried throughout my insides when she looked at me with those eyes… No, I had best not even think about them, I was putting the fluttery feeling down to having not eaten much today, and the shock of seeing those photographs in the visor in her car, the photographs with the tear stains so clearly marked on the delicate surface…

      

    “Yeah… it’ll be good to get some fresh air and have a walk together…”

     

    I smiled at her words, I hoped she was looking forward to it as much as I was becoming to, she was right, “yeah… it’ll be good…”

    Page 1 of 3123

    Comments

    1. Does Tina intend to back up her declaration about not being lost to Bette? Is she ready to attribute those butterflies to the right cause? As of now she still has one foot stuck in the muck of Blandville. Has she the strength to pull it out?

    2. This story is so sad and the pain is so evident in every look that B & T share. Everytime I see your post, I click on it, and I can feel all the emotion these two are going through. I love your writing JO, so I continue to follow. Please let the healing begin, soon.

    3. Hey Jo :) This story is so beautiful and heartwrenching and passionate all at the same time !! I have been enjoying reading your stories since beginning. Thank you so much for writing such a masterpiece ! :) congratulations on your award !! You deserved it rightfully !! I cant wait for Tibette to be happy again together. And like JLBT said Thank You for being a Tibetter at heart !! :D looking forward to more

    4. wow!!!!!!!!! Tina doesn’t want to be lost to Bette? well then what is it that she wants???? GREAT AS USUAL…I look forward to the next update…this is truly exquisite and torturing!!!!

    5. Wow! You made me cry again for these two lost souls. There is just so much pain between them, but there’s also so much love still there deep down. I just know you’ll bring them back to one another in time. I’m counting on it! :) I also want to say I too lost a very dear pet this past year and I know how hard it is. Just remember you cat will always live on in your memories.

    6. The only way for Tina not to be lost to Bette is for her to leave Henry and move out on her own. Then take steps to rebuild their relationship from the ground up. This story still takes my breath away.

    7. I think that one of the reasons that I have fallen in love with reading throughout my life, is that there are great authors that are able to paint very realistic pictures and stories by the use of words. This is precisely why I enjoy this story – it is very easy for me to SEE the interaction between these two women in my mind, as I read the words that you write. Thank you for using your words to make such an amazing story.

    8. ahhh… you’re tearing my heart out here! damn… this is so good. i just know tina is going to back out of what she really means with those words… instead it will be a ‘we can be friends…’ can’t wait til the next post!!!!

    9. Arghhh… the pain… the exquisite pain… please let these two wounded creatures heal each other. Feel the butterflies, Tina…. recognize that it is love and dare to reach out to the only one you’ll ever adore like this. And Bette please gather your last vestiges of strength and believe that all hope is not gone. Jo… you know what I think of your writing by now… but I’ll repeat anyway – whatever journey you chose to take me on, I’ll follow. You’re that good!

    10. What is a a woman to say when you just made her cry? With words, just letters placed after eachother, you evokes tears, feelings, you caused a heart to wrench, a mouth to go dry, tears to get stuck in throat, with words, you do your magic, but you have no idea, not even slightly, how strong your magic is… Thank you for being a TiBetter Jo, but even more so, thank you for being you.

    11. you know that your writing always knocks my socks off – superb as ever. my sympathises are with you as you know and also congratulations abouut the other thing and thanks for the item you sent me today xxxx hugs

    12. I’m so glad to comment almost directly after JLBT, because she said it all… and perfectly, cause for me she is one of the rare people that can write almost as beautifully as you… Jo, this story is heartwrenching, but I trust you blindly to take us there… Thanks!

    13. you know that your writing always knocks my socks off – superb as ever. my sympathises are with you as you know and also congratulations abouut the other thing and thanks for the item you sent me today xxxx hugs

    14. Damn, this is so painful and sad. Theirs so much between them. To remind her of what she lost. I don’t know but to remind yourself of that day in and day out, is like constantly reopening a wound. Please let Tina mean more than just being friends, after all she did bring a lot of bags, hopefully some of them contain clothes for her. Pleasssssssssssssssssssssssssssse Jo.

    15. Hey Jo, Once again my heart has been ripped out and jumped upon. The poor mangled organ is just about able to sustain live. I adore the she said, she said aspect of this story. First Bette’s view of Tina’s return and now Tina’s thought process on the whole sorry situation. You give each of the gals tormented minds and spirits. Each is struggling with the best way forward. How do you move on when you want to live in the past. You want to feel alive and connect as before. I do hope that Bette and Tina can reunite and rebuild their relationship and their hearts. Only by being honest, looking (not just seeing) and listening (not just hearing) can progress be made. In your capable hands this depth of emotion is perfectly portrayed. The darkness has seeped in and they are both trying to illuminate it with the smallest of candles. Good thing is that an inferno begins with a single spark and so I hope do this tragic tale have a magical and marvelous conclusion. Thank you so much for returning and continuing this story so speedily. My heart may weep but there is the hint of understanding and a fresh beginning. Wonderful writing from Your Loyal Fan.

    16. Ouch… But, somehow, I think you’re doing oh so right by our girls… (PS, I think I’m correct in assuming that you’re drooling over s4 Bette as much as I am, right? ;))

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