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Hindsight – Chapter 18
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Angelica began to squirm in her arms and I watched as Bette bent to let her down, we looked on as she toddled toward the open door, she glanced back looking at us both to see if we were about to follow, and how could we refuse with the look she was giving us, those eyes were so much like her other mothers, how could anyone refuse to follow those eyes…
Bette held her hand out to me, her silent offer to help carry the load as we made our way inside, following the tiny footsteps of our daughter.
“Tina… are you sure she is just staying for one night?” she asked me as we walked towards Angelica’s bedroom; she glanced back over her shoulder, I smiled as I rolled my eyes, she always did mock the way I over-packed and today was no different, but something I heard in her voice made me question whether there were more to her words. The thought did pass through my mind, albeit fleetingly, of whether I should stay too, but I didn’t want her to think that I didn’t trust her…
I saw her put her hand to her head, I had noticed when I got back that the bruise had seemed to have intensified in colour, I would imagine that it was painful given the look and size of the lump on her forehead.
“How is your head feeling?” I asked her.
“Oh, it’s okay, just feeling a bit tender…” she said quietly as I moved to stand in front of her.
“Do you think you should get it checked out?” It concerned me, how she seemed okay and then she would suddenly bring her fingers to touch the wound as if a shooting pain struck her.
I stood directly in front of her, looking at her head, the wound from the fall outside the grocery store yesterday, it looked painful…, she looked so desolate at times that it broke my heart, it broke it because I knew I was the cause, well not necessarily ‘the’ cause but my actions had caused her to be in so much pain, both emotional and physical.
I brought my hand up, to gently touch the area above her eye, I saw how her eyes darted, a moment of panic seemed to fill her eyes at what I was about to do, it was just a touch, to show I was concerned, or was it…, was I just showing her my concern as my fingertips gently moved across her brow, I saw her eyes slowly close, my fingers moved to her temple, the temple she herself had touched moments before.
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Excellent as usual..
you writed in a lovely way!you have the gift to produce a lot of feelings when somebody read your post! incredible as always!
you are really going to send me into labor…have I told you that. UGH…pps
jesus jo do u post these one pagers cuz writing more is like way to intense?
Does Tina intend to back up her declaration about not being lost to Bette? Is she ready to attribute those butterflies to the right cause? As of now she still has one foot stuck in the muck of Blandville. Has she the strength to pull it out?
I love this style of hearing both sides of the story! It’s powerful and painful–PPS!
Holy cow, that was intense!!!! “I wanted something to remind me of what I had lost”….WOW!!!!!!
This story is so sad and the pain is so evident in every look that B & T share. Everytime I see your post, I click on it, and I can feel all the emotion these two are going through. I love your writing JO, so I continue to follow. Please let the healing begin, soon.
Amazing PPS
If only I.C. could see their relationship the way it SHOULD be… thanks for this wonderful story.
So sorry about your cat. : ( But, It’s good to have you back posting again.
Hey Jo :) This story is so beautiful and heartwrenching and passionate all at the same time !! I have been enjoying reading your stories since beginning. Thank you so much for writing such a masterpiece ! :) congratulations on your award !! You deserved it rightfully !! I cant wait for Tibette to be happy again together. And like JLBT said Thank You for being a Tibetter at heart !! :D looking forward to more
wow!!!!!!!!! Tina doesn’t want to be lost to Bette? well then what is it that she wants???? GREAT AS USUAL…I look forward to the next update…this is truly exquisite and torturing!!!!
Lovely… excellent writting and thank you for posting twice…so close… sorry about your cat
Wow! You made me cry again for these two lost souls. There is just so much pain between them, but there’s also so much love still there deep down. I just know you’ll bring them back to one another in time. I’m counting on it! :) I also want to say I too lost a very dear pet this past year and I know how hard it is. Just remember you cat will always live on in your memories.
The only way for Tina not to be lost to Bette is for her to leave Henry and move out on her own. Then take steps to rebuild their relationship from the ground up. This story still takes my breath away.
Outstanding. Don’t be lost Tina. Go Home. The tension is incredible.
it’s time for them to find each other
I think that one of the reasons that I have fallen in love with reading throughout my life, is that there are great authors that are able to paint very realistic pictures and stories by the use of words. This is precisely why I enjoy this story – it is very easy for me to SEE the interaction between these two women in my mind, as I read the words that you write. Thank you for using your words to make such an amazing story.
Can you hear that? shhh it’s my heart breaking…Your killing me here but I am loving every minute of it!
Heartwrenching. Palpable. I’m in awe of your ability to evoke such strong emotions. I hope you post again today.
ahhh… you’re tearing my heart out here! damn… this is so good. i just know tina is going to back out of what she really means with those words… instead it will be a ‘we can be friends…’ can’t wait til the next post!!!!
1st?
Arghhh… the pain… the exquisite pain… please let these two wounded creatures heal each other. Feel the butterflies, Tina…. recognize that it is love and dare to reach out to the only one you’ll ever adore like this. And Bette please gather your last vestiges of strength and believe that all hope is not gone. Jo… you know what I think of your writing by now… but I’ll repeat anyway – whatever journey you chose to take me on, I’ll follow. You’re that good!
What is a a woman to say when you just made her cry? With words, just letters placed after eachother, you evokes tears, feelings, you caused a heart to wrench, a mouth to go dry, tears to get stuck in throat, with words, you do your magic, but you have no idea, not even slightly, how strong your magic is… Thank you for being a TiBetter Jo, but even more so, thank you for being you.
you know that your writing always knocks my socks off – superb as ever. my sympathises are with you as you know and also congratulations abouut the other thing and thanks for the item you sent me today xxxx hugs
I’m so glad to comment almost directly after JLBT, because she said it all… and perfectly, cause for me she is one of the rare people that can write almost as beautifully as you… Jo, this story is heartwrenching, but I trust you blindly to take us there… Thanks!
you know that your writing always knocks my socks off – superb as ever. my sympathises are with you as you know and also congratulations abouut the other thing and thanks for the item you sent me today xxxx hugs
Damn, this is so painful and sad. Theirs so much between them. To remind her of what she lost. I don’t know but to remind yourself of that day in and day out, is like constantly reopening a wound. Please let Tina mean more than just being friends, after all she did bring a lot of bags, hopefully some of them contain clothes for her. Pleasssssssssssssssssssssssssssse Jo.
omg Jo, you just have to give us more, more than one page, pls pls this is killing me
It’s so sad to see this relationship deteriorate to this level of pain. God I hope it gets better. This is heartbreaking.
WOW!!! This is just so sad. I hope Tina means what she is telling Bette. Thank you PPS
Oh god, i’m in pain too! Jo your writing is just amazing! wow! I hope Tina means what she says …
Hey Jo, Once again my heart has been ripped out and jumped upon. The poor mangled organ is just about able to sustain live. I adore the she said, she said aspect of this story. First Bette’s view of Tina’s return and now Tina’s thought process on the whole sorry situation. You give each of the gals tormented minds and spirits. Each is struggling with the best way forward. How do you move on when you want to live in the past. You want to feel alive and connect as before. I do hope that Bette and Tina can reunite and rebuild their relationship and their hearts. Only by being honest, looking (not just seeing) and listening (not just hearing) can progress be made. In your capable hands this depth of emotion is perfectly portrayed. The darkness has seeped in and they are both trying to illuminate it with the smallest of candles. Good thing is that an inferno begins with a single spark and so I hope do this tragic tale have a magical and marvelous conclusion. Thank you so much for returning and continuing this story so speedily. My heart may weep but there is the hint of understanding and a fresh beginning. Wonderful writing from Your Loyal Fan.
Damn this is emotional and hope Tina mean what she saying. OK post soon please, thanks!
Wonderful chapter, very well written and darker than the previous one. Very sad but hope is present in the text too. Brilliant, thanks.
Ouch… But, somehow, I think you’re doing oh so right by our girls… (PS, I think I’m correct in assuming that you’re drooling over s4 Bette as much as I am, right? ;))