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    Hindsight – Chapter 33

    Story written on February 13, 2007 by Jobadge.
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    Number of Comments: 33
    Words: 2413
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=64496
    Author Notes:

    Tina Kennard: The intensity that I wanted to escape from was now something I craved…

    Hindsight – Chapter 33

    Main Entry: hindsight
    Pronunciation: ‘hIn(d)-"sIt
    Function: noun

    Meaning:  understanding the nature of an event after it has happened

    "Hindsight is always better than foresight"

     

    “Was it hard to move forward…, to feel that regret and not allow it to blur the things ahead of you…?”  I got what she was saying, accepting the wrong doing of her affair…, accepting and understanding the regret and knowing that at some point she would need to move forward, but I knew I made that difficult for her…, more difficult than it needed to be…

     

    “Yes, it was hard…, one of the hardest things I have ever had to do…”

      

    “One of the hardest, there was something else…, harder than that?”

      

    She nodded at me, what would be harder than our marriage falling apart after her affair…, granted we were falling apart a long time before that but it would be considered the final nail in the coffin… her affair…

     

    “Yes… there was something harder…” I saw her pause, it looked like she was gathering her thought before she felt able to say what was harder…, “You know the other thing is when other people make choices that affect your life…, choices that you have no control over…, hindsight makes you wonder whether you could have done things differently that would have made that person… not make the choices they made…”

     

    Jesus…, if that didn’t come as a slap in the face then nothing did, I knew she wasn’t making a personal attack, but she was inferring that the decisions I had made had been harder to deal with than her own actions…, and surprisingly I understood that, she had related hindsight in wondering whether there was anything she could have done to stop me leaving her, stop me walking out on our life together, stop me taking away her family…, her daughter…

     

    How would I ever be able to make that up to her, I glanced across to her, she was resting her head back as she sat quietly, I watched the steady trickle of tears as they ran down her cheeks…. 

     

    “Do you have any regrets Bette…?”

     

    She turned to look at me, her eyes and face were so full of emotion “yes…, I do…” she said quietly, and I understood what those regrets would be about…

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    Comments

    1. Jo as you may know this story always dismantles me…and now i have to say this with the utmost of love…WHY, WHY? ONLY ONE PAGE??? Can’t we have a few more?? Huh? P-p-please???? AHEM! Anywho..love this fic…please continue..

    5. I don’t get the “black like your woman” statement. Except for that who shall not be named, when did Bette ever date anyone black or even remotely black? Oh well, now that these two understand what the deal is, let’s get rid of Henry!

    7. Probie, it’s just a saying. I first heard it on the show “Good Times” when a woman (I don’t think it was Florida) who said she’d take her coffee like she takes her men. “Black and strong.” I have yet to hear “white and weak.” xD I don’t think Jo would have Tina make that crack if it was supposed to be about Candace. lol =)

    8. I pray, Jo, that Tina will have the strength to continue on this new road. That when she gets back to see Henry, that she will continue and not back down…..

    10. Jo, it hurts… Make it better? I know, I sound like a whiney 3-yr-old, but I’m sick, so I’m entitled… Still trusting you… barely… I expect more rough patches at some point, but they’re doing so well!

    11. Jo….No one does what you can do. Superb. Wasn’t JB wonderful in this last episode (6) ?? I didn’t quite get why she was sobbing before she kissed Jodi. Maybe you can elucidate either in a PM or in your author’s notes with your next chapter. You understand this sensitive stuff.

    12. this is so good, you make my hearth melt this words, they love each other so much that hurt! They are talking and is a big step please don’t leave them walk away.

    13. i am gonna sound mighty greedy when i say this……but i would love another chappy…..lol……i know, i know…..u posted 2 already……i can wait i reckon…..

    16. No, I really don’t think you’ll allow them to wallow in regret. Sounds like things are moving along swimmingly. Jo, I hate to say it but when I scrolled to the bottom of the comments I found that bizarre ad for natural male douche again. Is anybody else as puzzled by this as I am? What could be more unnatural? Well, anyway, it cracks me up (no pun intended) every time I see it.

    19. You know Tina’s dress (that you can not see because she is hidden behind Bette) is a different color blue. It has an almost purplish tint to it. This is really emotional but very needed. They both are laying it on the line and finally saying what is in their hearts.

    24. I feel for Tina… going back to Henry must be tearing her apart. I so hope Tina can hold on to her newfound clarity… and that she’ll remember her way back to Bette as SOON as the breakup with Henry is over. Hurry home, Tina!!! Thanks, Jo – your story is beautiful… as always.

    25. Two posts in a row…you are spoiling us and we could get used to it. Maybe Tina should just take Bette by the hand and drag her to the bedroom for just a nap and a cuddle. I’m sure they both could use it and T would be there when they wake up. Give Bette something to look forward to…. :) Love this story!

    27. Jo, You really know how to take your reader along this emotive and painful journey. It is difficult to read the hurt and not be affected. Only something worthwhile would require this anxiety as both gals are ready to admit their mistakes and share their fears. They will need to forgive themselves for all past mistakes but if the injured party bares no gridge that can be a easier task to do. Jo, this is a wonderful rollercoaster of a ride a we get insight into both Bette and Tina. Thank you so much for continuing to propagate this site with your literary talent. Your Loyal Fan.

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