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    Hindsight – Chapter 5

    Story written on November 27, 2006 by Jobadge.
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    1 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 29
    Words: 3392
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=63361
    Author Notes:

    Bette Porter: She pulled the strings wrapped around my heart, she pulled them so tight I found it hard to breath…

     

    We had on so many occasions caught each other, emotions from whatever reason was passing through us, whether they were good, bad or indifferent, emotional support… we had been catching one another since we first laid eyes on one another, she was the only I had ever allowed to catch me when I fell…

     

    I could feel myself falling as she also made her own emotional descent in front of me, I lifted Angelica in my arms, and stepped around the table, I bent and sat her on the floor beside us, I smiled through the tears as I looked at how she settled so quickly being close to her mothers.

     

    I stood momentarily seeing the hunched figure, her arms leaning on the table as she cradled her head in her hands, my chest was feeling tighter and tighter as every nano second passed, my hand hovered then… hovered above her shoulder… I didn’t want her to reject me; I just wanted to hold her…

     

    I bit the bullet and put my hand on her shoulder, feeling the movement in her body as her emotions spilled forth, she looked around at me, those adoring eyes running with the salty solution of her despair, a choke caught in my throat as she looked at me, I reached for her hand, encouraging her from her seat, she rose before me, glancing at our daughter before she stood in front of me.

     

    I brought her into my arms, pulling her close as her distressed body leaned into me, her arms grasping the tee shirt at my back, the desolation of her falling hitting me as my own emotions of the last twelve hours came crumbling down around me.

     

    I felt her head bury itself into my neck, the choking noises against my skin, I dropped my head as my own slow tears continued to fall, along with the emotions that began to surface from our demise, the emotions I was trying so hard to contain, the motions from the love I had lost, the daughter I had lost, the relationship of forever we had lost, it all came tumbling out, the weakness I had been feeling in my own body over the last days forgotten as my mind and body permitted me to stand tall, to stand and hold the woman in my arms as she allowed me to catch her as she fell.

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    Comments

    1. Why is it that we always want them to beat all odds, to reunite, to somehow do what so many others cannot??? Why? I think that if IC hadn’t battered them as she had, hadn’t treated the characters with such disrespect that we wouldn’t feel so violent towards them..Another wonderful, heart breaking chapter, and thankyou for posting so soon, it helps, it really does. Thanks!!

    3. Jo…words can’t possibly express how much this fic moves me. The way you are able to convey the emotions in both of these confused women is amazing. This fic continues to leave me in a constant flux of emotions and i always end up choked up by the end of one of your posts. Thank you so much for sharing you’re exquiste gift.

    4. It’s hard to find the words to tell you how moved I am by this story. It is absolutely amazing. The emotion so raw, so palpable. Surely with the depth of love these two have for each other – and I do believe the love is there within Tina too – that they can find a way back to each other.

    7. You are so talented. I hope this pain has never been in your life and that you’re writing from your imagination. I don’t know if it is realistic to expect them to reunite but I would love it. How they got to this point is incomprehensible.

    9. Funnyone…Sometimes you can be so in love with a person that it knocks you off balance you do things that you can’t explain. Is it healthy? No…..but you can try to get a grip on the feelings and I hope they try. Tina lost herself in Bette and when Bette got off track Tina lost her way…it’s like driving a car and something coming in your path and you swerve to miss and try to overcorrect to get back…it’s possible to straighten up again.

    10. Sometimes when someone makes a mistake, they have no clue how to come back and fix the mess that they have created. They feel unworthy of that other person’s love and are afraid of hurting them worse. I feel that Tina wants desperately to come back but feels unworthy of Bette’s love or feelings. She knows she fucked up but can not take that step to fix it. It was the shock of seeing Bette in the parking lot that sent her into action. If she did not care at all about Bette she would not be showing Angelica pictures or talking to her every night about Bette. Tina has lost her way and knows in her heart that Bette is her light but because she messed up so badly she has stayed away. Bette can never turn her back on Tina even though she was hurt beyond anything else in this world. She knows that Tina completes her and without Tina and Angelica she is nothing. That is why she has given up on her life. By holding Angelica she has the will to live again and begin to pick up the pieces. Some people regardless of how badly they have been hurt can not seem to walk away from the one person that hurts them the most. Tina is that person for Bette. Now it is up to Tina to finally come to terms with her messed up life and repair her family even if they never share a bed again. Jo, this story has brought so many emotions to the surface yet it is also a healing mechanism for me. Thanks.

    11. i love the idea of both of their opinions…this is really emotional and intense, they have so much to talk about but at least they made the first step

    12. Damn thats sad. Tina better not hurt Bette and keep her word or I’m gonna kick her ass for hurting my Bette lol. Well hope Tina will dump henrydick and come back to Bette and they will work thing out and be a family again. OK post soon please, thanks!

    13. Finally,they cry together.Gosh, how is it that one writer commends such emotional response for the reader? I can actually see this on the show Job. Saddens me that both are soo obviously in soo much pain. But let the healing begin. Let the good times roll. Let us get a happy ending,free of sadness and pain. You’re the real deal Job. You’re it. PPS.

    15. Hey,Well its so good to see a positive light at the end of the tunnel for them!…Its ok that the chapters are short..sort chapters of anything sad is about all i can take!…lol…Good stuff!

    17. you are an amazing writer Jo….this was quite the wake up call for today…..i love this fic and cannot wait to see where it goes from here….u have alot of options by opening the way you did….thank you…..and post again soon…….

    20. Tina still makes me sick but I am glad that she is making things right again. Two broken women, so sad! As I have already refused to connect this story to your previous one, I am very curious as to how they ended up like this. Did Bette still have an affair?Although it would be interesting if in this story she did not. Tina with Helena? Keeping the preganancy a secret? Let me know! Post soon!

    23. Wow…so emotional. I am glad they were able to provide each other some comfort. I hope they can move forward from this…I want to see them back together eventually…but right now they need to be friends again before lovers. GET RID OF HENRY!

    28. good lord, how do you make each chapter more intense than the last. i really, really, really hope these people figure out some way to heal. thanks so much for this incredible story.

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