Fan Fiction
This story has been set to a rating of PG-13. Age verification is required to proceed.
Hindsight – Chapter 7
Login to add story to favorites
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)You need to be a registered member to rate this post.
Loading ...
“I don’t hate you…”
“Did you just knock on the door to suburbia and say ‘Hi, I’m Tina, I’ve slammed the door on my ten year life living in a lesbian relationship with my partner and child… and decided I want to come and live here in the good ole suburbs…?”
I knew my voice was getting stronger, but I wasn’t coping with this very well, yesterday I was still mourning the fact that I hadn’t seen my daughter in seven weeks and four days, and now suddenly not only do I have Angelica in front of me, but Tina too… it was so much to take in, I had so many questions, so many things to say, so much hurt and pain inside me…
I look at her as she began to watch Angelica, I saw the tears well in her eyes, I knew she was having difficulty with this too, but we were only just beginning to scratch the surface…
I stood and walked the couple of steps to the French doors, I fold my arms and rest my head on the architrave, looking through the glass but not seeing, I didn’t mean to be so harsh with her, I really didn’t have the energy to be harsh or argue or fight, I wanted us to enjoy the fact that Angelica was here, there was plenty of time to dig up the dirt and rake through it.
She has asked me if we could all spend the day together and when she had asked me I felt that flicker of hope inside me, it was a hope that I would once again be a part of Angelica’s life, it’s the only thing I had wished for during the lonely days and night, that’s not strictly true, but it’s the only thing that ‘I dared’ to wish for…
I sigh then, pushing myself away from the door frame, looking back at the sofa, Angelica had climbed into her lap and she was nursing her, she was also wiping the stray tears from her cheeks, she had just taken my harsh words, I could tell she was digesting them…
I walk over to the sofa and sit down with a space between us, looking at Angelica as she suckled her breast, her hand reaching to entwine her fingers in Tina’s hair, my own eyes welled once again, the tears seemed to be free flowing today, it felt almost cleansing, but I knew this was only just the start, it was only twelve hours ago that I had contemplated taking three different bottle of pills.
I looked to her face, not bothering to wipe the tears away, she looked at me with her own glistening eyes, and I say the thing that is on my lips, I wanted to apologise for the harshness, I didn’t want today to be about that, I wanted us to share today, share the time with Angelica.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to be so… stern…”
She smiled at me, she knew it always took me a few minutes to digest words, to come to a place where I knew I had overstepped the mark, and I had, no matter that we hadn’t discussed the in’s and out’s of the last seven weeks and four days, now was not the time, I knew that and so did she…
“I think… I… I deserved all your words… and a lot more… for everything I’ve done to you, it’s me that needs to do all the apologising… not you, I need to be apologising for a lot of things…”
We looked at one another, we both gave a small smile, neither of us wanted to fight…
I turn slightly, so I was facing her, I take Angelica’s hand as she held it out to me while she continued to nurse, I reach my other hand to Tina’s face, she turned to look at me as I gently wiped her tears away…
I look into her eyes, searching the eyes I had spent hours and hours in the past looking into, I missed looking into her eyes…
“Let’s start today again… shall we?”
She nodded, “Yeah… I’d like that…”
Comments
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Starting the day over is a good start… if they could just do that with the last 8 weeks, maybe everything would be ok…
Painful, heart-wrenching, but beautiful & hopeful too? Awesome writing Jobadge.
I was so glad to see you posted another chapter to this amazing story… As painful and heartbreaking as it is, I am so enjoying this jorney. Thanks a bunch Jo.
Damn women – once again I’m looking like something the seahorse has draged in….swollen red and wet eyes!!! The part with “Tina my passion walked out of here seven weeks and five days ago, my passion left me….” was simply breathtaking….the whole chapter was amazing!!!! You’re the best, no question about it!!!! Thanks for yet another masterpiece xx
a page of perfection!
Yet another heartwrenching chapter…always beautifully written…though would have to pick my moments to read it!…Hormones can do that to ya!!!..Good stuff tho!
I wonder if Bette meant to add that she’d eat and throw it up. Tina didn’t seem to notice that.
This was emotional and awesome Jo…I was exhausted emotionally just reading it. Where does Tina & Henry stand? They seemed happy the other day at the store. Does Bette & Tina have a chance? Is Tina just sorry about how she treated Bette or could they get back together?
Sniff-sniff. Jo you’re killing me with these two.
What can I say Jobadge ? You’re a poet. Another heartwrenching chapter indeed but the kind of “heartwrench” we love. This is all so beautiful and so painful at the same time. Oh, and I love your “parallel editing” of the story too. It’s really great to get the chance to see things from both points of view ( and so rare ! ). So enlightening ! Anyway, every single chapter is a wonderful gift you are offering us, Jo, so thank you so much !
is incredible how you show us all their pain and her fears just in one page, i don’t know if i can handle two pages likes this! it’s so heartache, i think that i should take some painkillers before read your next chapter! well done, girl
passion walked away but maybe hope just came back in? i hope…
That Tina is willing to stick around after being slapped around by the sisters Porter is quite a hopeful sign. She deserves it, of course. And it’s a necessary first step if anything better is to come.
Is there a way to start the last year to year and a half over? Jo, you are really laying it all out in the open. This is so heartfelt and pulls from deep within one’s soul. A person reading this can feel the pain, hurt and anger that emanates off of Bette and to some degree Tina. I hope that they can work their selves back together for both of their sakes (and well mine too because I love Tibette)
Damn this is awsome and Im with funnyone and let see whats next, thanks!
heart-achingly brilliant.
awesome jo….you are an amazing writer….i love this fic….please, continue soon…..i wont be the least bit aggravated if you decide to post oh…say….another 3 or 4 chapters today…..lol…….. =0)
Your writing is so extraordinary that I feel Bette’s and Tina’s pain. You’re so skillful that I forgive Bette but Tina’s another story. You write more in one page….economy of words but certainly not emotions.
Jo that was just amazing. Thank you ans Please Post Soon
This is sooooo heart breaking,But Love it
gee Jo you are just a phenomenal writer but this is SO painful i really don’t know if i can keep reading it because it brings so many tears to me. you are just the greatest writer on the board EVER
Soo amazing! I wonder how Tina will deal with Bette’s anger..then there is Kit and the friends..then Henry..and ofcourse she still loves B..will she get back the house to help Bette…Will B have her back easily? Lots of stuff still to happen :P I can’t wait for next chapter!.
Wonderful chapter Jo! So much emotions on a single page.
Heartwrenching… Its like eating chocolat when you have a toothache, reading your stories… You want it so bad even though you know its gonna hurt… BUT the hope you give… The communication you master… If only your name were IC… Love this Jo! PPS!
This is so hard to read, very painful. Yet you cant stop reading nor stop the tears. thanks