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    Hindsight – Chapter 9

    Story written on December 7, 2006 by Jobadge.
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    Number of Comments: 40
    Words: 3362
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=63498
    Author Notes:

    Bette Porter: No one else would ever hear what was in my heart but her…

     

    She began to smirk, seeing the faraway look in my eyes, I always could get lost in those eyes.

     

    I moved my finger, suddenly feeling a moment of exposure that I hadn’t felt in a very long time, I swallowed my vulnerability, breaking my eye contact with her as I looked at Angelica, she had finished nursing in the passing moments between her two mothers, I saw Tina move her tee shirt back down as she glanced to my face, I think maybe she was feeling it too, how could she not, the air between us was palpable…

     

    “Mama…”

     

    I smiled as my daughter held up her hands to me, I glanced at Tina, she too was smiling at the interruption.

     

    “Saved by the bell…?” she said as we smiled at one another.

     

    “Something like that…” 

     

    “I think she wants a nap…”

     

    “Shall I put her down?”

     

    “I think she wants to cuddle you…” she said, her words seemed to linger in the air between us as Angelica nestled down into my lap, her head resting on my chest, my eyes remained on the woman in front of me as the familiar feeling of holding my daughter washed over me, I pulled my daughter in close…

     

    “Are you okay…?”

     

    "Yeah…, I think so…” I think I was, I wasn’t sure, this morning so far had been a rollercoaster of emotions, and it didn’t feel like the ride was due to end any time soon.

     

    We sat quietly then, just side by side, watching Angelica drift off in my arms, she looked so peaceful, she always did fall asleep quickly and without fuss, everyone always said how contented she must be…

     

    I wish I had the same contentment in my life… all those months ago, our life was in so much turmoil, emotional turmoil, why couldn’t we have talked to one another, been able to express all those feelings that were between us, would we still be sat here side by side today… if we had talked to each other all that time ago…, I’m not sure…

     

    But in the last seven weeks and five days, I wanted to find some peace, but not being able to share my life with those that I loved had taken away any sense of peace in my life, our previous life was in turmoil, and even when she left, the turmoil remained, but it intensified, without them all I had was quiet chaos, it filled my head and it filled my heart, all of it was inside, I didn’t show anger, I didn’t shout and scream, I just quietly crumbled away inside until there was nothing left.  

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    Comments

    2. I feel at peace, too. But Jo, aren’t you up past your bedtime? You must be getting almost as sleepy as Angelica. Hindsight? Isn’t that what Tina always loved about Bette’s Levis? And as much as you love BP/JB in her Levis, I bet you love her even more out of them.

    4. LOL@funnyone! I’m sitting here wiping my eyes (as always when I read this story) and she’s cracking a joke about Bette’s ass in a pair of jeans. Maybe Bette wasn’t dreaming. Hmm…

    5. Absolutly lovely story. You know Tina was whispering in her ear and I bet she even kissed her. Now give us Tina’s POV. Please keep this up, its turning out to be such a happy story, and we could all use a bit of that especially at this time of the year. By the way JB in Levi’s hot, course JB in anything or not, is hot.

    6. … did Tina whisper that she still loves her sweetheart, Bette… did she? Oh, I hope she did… This is so beautiful and painful… another great chapter from you, Jo. Thanks!

    8. Happy anniversary, it’s been quite a year of fantastic stories, and delightful reading on my side, and I have you to thank for. Best wishes for your second year, with ulterior motive because the more you write, the more I get to read.

    13. Happy anniversary… Why do I get this rather distinct feeling that maybe Bette didn’t dream all of it? It’s so touching, so heart wrentching, so hard to read, but I just can’t get enough…

    14. Congrats on your year of posting. Your voice in this story is so deep and so warm, strong and full of emotional truth, very very poignant version of these characters coming to terms with how they hurt one another. Hope they to continue to ffind their way back to one another, all the way back.

    16. Thanks for giving us a year of wonderful read. Looking forward to the next. O.o your author’s note just hits me ‘Hind Sight’= ‘Back View’..hehe. That takes your admiration for Levi up another notch :)

    17. Hey Jo. It’s so late now that I really can’t afford to read this now, but I HAD to wish you a happy anniversary! We should all celebrate here cause let me tell you that one year ago, you made the best decision that any of us could ever hope for, and we’re all getting the amazing benefits of this decision every single day! Thanks for sticking with us, and hoping that this is only the first year of many more to come… ;)xK.

    19. Jo……First off….Happy Anniversary. It’s hard to believe that you have only been writing for this site for one year. You are such an accomplished writer. What a pleasure for me to read your stories.Secondly, if you have a gf or a partner, she is a very lucky woman b/c you must write beautiful, wonderful love letters. And if you don’t have a partner then someone out there is going to be a very lucky woman when she becomes yours.

    20. Happy Anniversary Jo…boy aren’t we glad you started writing stories…I have thoroughly enjoyed them. I hope you bring this family back together.

    21. You are an awesome writer, i absolutely love this story!!!!! Im sad over Bette’s state of mind and body but im happy that Tina showed up to save her by her family being there. I’m thinking that Tina was whispering in Bette’s ear, and thats why she was dreaming that. Maybe, i dunno. PPS

    23. Those levis do look mighty fine on Bette’s body. Right now though she needs some help in filling them out again. The only two people who can help her (besides you) is Tina and Angelica. Tina still is and will always be Bette’s soul mate and eventual savior. I miss B&T together. I love JB and LH and only wish that IC loved them as much as we do.

    25. Wow, Jo, happy anniversary !! This was beautiful, of course, but it’s no news. You just never cease to amaze me ( and I should probably say “to amaze us” ). Actually, I never seem to find proper words to tell you how talented I think you are so I’ll just say thank you soooooo much for sharing your gift !

    26. Happy anniversary, Jo! I really can’t add to what everyone has said. You are truly an awesome writer, and it has been a privilege to have so much from you for the six months I’ve been an avid reader on the site. What a ride, what a ride! I do believe it wasn’t a dream Bette just had!

    27. You see that Jo, your making me less hateful of Tina! Damn! lol Happy Aniversary! My gosh it sure does not seem like it, where did the time go? Post soon!

    32. Well..another great chapter…But then wouldnt ever expect anything else…especially looking back on the last year!..Each and everyone has been great..So Happy 1 year Anniversary!…im sure the next year will be even better!

    33. Hmmm, can’t wait to have Tina’s version of these last ten minutes…;) Jo, you delight me with the perfect description of those “moments” of pure loving between B&T… I often thought that such a simple thing as a shared look into a crowded room between those two could just turn into the most romantic tale, and that’s what you just gave us… Jo, for that and for the past year, thanks for putting into the most perfect wording the most perfect love, thus doing the justice it truly deserves…

    34. Hey Jo what a great year it has been too. It is amazing that you didn’t take the punge sooner. Hiding all that talent of your away from us. We are the lucky ones. I so love this story and how you bring us to the end of Bette’s emotions. Thanks and I’m looking forward to more.

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