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“10. The feel of you on top of me.”
They were toying at a dangerous game.
“Umm…that’s ten. I have more,” Tina said.
“Should we keep going?”
“If you’d like…”
“11. I love your laugh.”
“11. I love the way Baby floats out of your mouth when you’re talking to me.”
“12. The way you used to pull me closer during the night.”
“12. The way you bite your lip when you’re horny.”
Tina bit her lip. Bette licked hers.
“13. Your vulnerability.”
“13. The way you hold me.”
“14. The vein in your neck.”
Bette laughed that laugh Tina loved so much.
“14. Your breasts.”
“What?” Bette shrugged.
“You know your breasts fit perfectly in my hands.”
Bette said as she looked at Tina’s chest. She was not wearing a bra.
“15. Your heart.”
“15. The way you make everything around you so beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful,” Tina couldn’t help herself.
“So are you.”
“16. Your sensitivity.”
“16. You are in my DNA, Tina Kennard.”
Tears started streaming down Tina’s face. A few seconds later, tears started streaming down Bette’s face.
“I don’t think I can keep going,” Tina finally said.
“It’s just too much. You’re sitting right there,” Tina pointed at Bette.
“You’re so close. Yet so far away. I can literally reach out and touch you. And believe me, I want to. There is so much I want to do to you right now. I miss touching you whenever I want to. I miss kissing you and being with you and talking to you without such a dark cloud over us. I want to be with you right now.”
Tina ran her hands through her hair.
“I also know we have to take it slowly and talk things through. But fuck, Bette. I want you back. You. I want youuu back. All of you.”
Tina throws up her hands.
“Why did you resent me?”
Tina just looked at Bette with a sadness that struck Bette’s soul. She wasn’t sure if she could handle what Tina was about to say.
“Because I hemorrhaged on that table by myself. And you just went to work the next day as if nothing happened.”
Bette stood up. She paced back and forth. She ran her hands through her hair. She downed the rest of her wine, took a deep breath and sat back down.
“That is not what happened.”
Bette stared at Tina.
“That is NOT what happened.”
“Then enlighten me, Bette. What do you think happened?”
“What do I think happened? Fucking unbelievable. You told me to go. Several times might I add. You practically forced me out of the house.”
“You should have stayed.”
Bette stood back up. Then sat back down. She exhaled.
“I should have stayed,” Bette exhaled again.
“You shouldn’t have pushed me away, Tina. I needed you as much as you needed me. FUCK!”
Bette sucked in air and blew it out forcefully. Tears started streaming down her face again. Tina wanted to pull Bette into her lap and comb through her hair.
“I shouldn’t have pushed you away.”
“You wouldn’t let me touch you. You barely looked at me. You didn’t want me in the house. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I was trying to give you space.”
Tina looked at Bette.
“I didn’t need space. I needed you. It was so easy for you to leave early and come home late. It seemed like you didn’t want to be around me.”
“Didn’t want to be around you?” Bette scoffed.
“I WAS TRYING TO DO WHAT I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME TO DO,” Bette yelled.
She began sobbing.
Tina stood up. She blew out all of the candles and turned on the lamp next to the couch. She put the pillows back on the couch. Bette watched her while still sitting on the floor…crying.
When Tina was done, she sat on one end of the couch and waited. Bette finally stood up. She wiped the tears off of her cheeks and sat on the opposite end of the couch.
“It broke my fucking heart when you said you resented me,” Bette whispered.
“I know,” Tina whispered.
“How did we get here, Tee?”
Tina’s eyes got big and the floodgates opened.