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    I Will Not Let You Fall

    Crouching against the wall, Bette was sitting on her heels as she stared at the door before her, a bunch of keys rattling in her hand to fill the quiet. She had arrived to visit her old apartment, but half an hour later she still hadn’t found enough courage to go inside.

    An internal dialogue whispered through her mind as to what kind of experience exactly she wanted to gain out of this occurrence, as to what had tempted her to come here in the beginning. Was it that she had missed her own place that she was here? Or was it her curiosity over the current state of the apartment? Or maybe it was the memories this apartment held? The last felt the most accurate, or else why would she be afraid of coming through that door and face her past? Because that is what her apartment symbolized – her hazardous youth, her past crimes, her past friends, enemies, one-night stands, her self-destructive lifestyle. Her Tina. Her chaotic relationship with Tina, her love for Tina, her passion for Tina, her hate for Tina. Everything that was Tina the apartment personified. Bette feared of getting swallowed by those feelings again, but at the same time she longed for them. Longed for Tina.

    After seeing her several days ago, Bette had been trying to fight the thoughts of Tina, to stop them from messing with her head. At this point of her life Bette didn’t need anything that was out of her control. She needed to keep it together all the time, for a single mistake wasn’t an option. She didn’t want emotional, she didn’t want intense, she didn’t want irrational. She wanted calm, sensible and steady.

    But as if to spite her, to test her wall of control, Tina had been making attempts to squeeze her way into Bette’s mind nevertheless.

    Bette had noticed the uncharacteristic look of exhaustion written all over Tina’s face the moment they had come to stand close together. Even though Tina had clearly tried to hide behind a veil of heavy makeup, her efforts were futile, because Bette had managed to see through her. Tina had aged, which was natural of course, but it seemed her aging hadn’t done her very well. She had grown out of her healthy baby fat and now appeared slightly meager. The lack of spark in her eyes, the anxiety written all over her fatigued face, the shaking of her hands. Where was this girl who had practically glowed with vitality ten years ago? Buried deep, by the looks of it. There were some issues, Bette knew, something was wrong with the blonde.

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    Comments

    1. Hi, happy to see another great (and long) chapter from you!

      I must say about a few things about this part.

      First – what i don’t like – i don’t like Nicole. I don’t trust her and i think she don’t fired Bette only because she wants her. I can see ultimatum for Bette from her in the future.

      Ok, next what i like – i like two conversation – Tina wit therapist and Bette with Ayola – i think both Tina and Bette can see things more clear after this talks.
      And of course the best part of chapter – Tina’s decision fight for Bette.
      I must say i very like your mature Tina and i think Bette need to stop be scared and do leap of faith with her.

      So, thank you for this part and waiting for next!

    2. Hi Valerie:

      This was a wonderful chapter, as you mentioned, maturity is taken its way on our couple, and they have the world on their hands, it’s their decision, all or nothing.
      I’m glad they are finding their way to each other, there will be obstacles, like that stupid bully parol officer, the talkative Brenda and Bette boss, but Tina and Bette together, can overcome any barrier.

      I start getting sad because this is the beginning of the end of this story, hope you keep updating the other, and maybe we could enjoy more stories from you.
      Thank you for the update, I’ll eagerly wait for the next chapter.

      P

    3. Hi Valerie,

      Yes, Tina is going to fight for her Bette! About time, she has to show Bette that she has grown up and will not leave her when there are problems and there will be

      That parole man is a utter asshole and what about Nicole, hmm. I hope she is trustworthy and isn’t going to use Bette’s past against her. For now i give her a chance.

      Ayola has my respect, she is a very good friend. I love her.

      Thank you for the update! It was worth the while!

    4. thank you so much for this wonderful long chapter.
      I don’t blame Tina for behaving the way she did, I mean Bette was living a dangerous life style that would have easily put Tina at risk. am glad both are finding their way back to each other. But what happens with Brenda?. post soon plea……..se

    5. Forgot to mention about Tina’s girfriend – seems it was not ease to Tina break up with her. First – because her parents like her, and second – Brenda obviously in love with her.

      But i hope mature Tina know what she wants – and it’ll be Bette

    6. It was wonderful having the update. Hopefully they can come to terms with their feelings for each other and most of all, Bette needs to get over her fear of being let down by Tina in the future. Tina has laid down the gauntlet and Bette needs to meet her halfway and accept that Tina is truly still in love with her and wants a future with her. And Bette needs to forget the past and let it go, and run as fast as she can towards their future. Loved the update. Thanks for posting.

    7. So happy to see an update. My heart broke for Tina when Bette pushed her away. The parole officer is a sadist. I hope Bette can keep her path until she no longer has to answer to him. He has treachery in his heart. Nicole will make a play for Bette to keep her secret. I think Bette needs to remove herself from this job. Tina has grown so much . She is willing to fight for Bette and chose her over family. The little girl is grown up. Please post again soon. Thank you.

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