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    I Will Not Let You Fall

    When Bette didn’t move or respond, Tina used the chance to try to squirm around her. With surprising speed Bette put her arm out against the near wall, effectively blocking Tina’s path.

    All at once, the air between them turned electric, fired up by the adrenaline rush.

    Before Tina even realized what was happening, Bette trapped her against the wall with her hands resting against the wall on either side of Tina’s head. Bette’s body didn’t touch Tina’s, but it was so close that Tina couldn’t move away. The blonde froze, looking up at Bette. The glow of dim light from the nightstand lamp lit one side of Bette’s face, leaving the rest in shadows, as if she was only half there, half in this world and half in the world of darkness, as if she were the veil between. The sharp scent of alcohol and cigarettes as it sailed off Bette’s laboured breath filled Tina’s senses. When had Bette started smoking again, Tina wondered to herself with worry and sadness. She studied Bette’s lean face, the angular jaw, the tousled brown hair that was dashed with gray. A few inches taller than Tina, with a thin frame and pallor of her skin, Bette stared down at the blonde with that cold, steely stare, her expression unreadable. Her dark eyes glittered with dangerous undertones, piercing Tina’s very soul, yet they were empty pools, so lost, unclear and gone. It scared Tina to look into them now, as if there were a pit that she might fall into and not arise from.

    Swallowing painfully, the blonde spoke in a half-whisper, ”You have changed so much…”

    Bette showed no reaction.

    ”I don’t even recognize you anymore… You’ve pulled so far back…” Tina’s throat tightened with emotion and a burning sensation filled her chest as she fought not to burst into tears.

    Bette remained impassive to Tina’s display of vulnerability.

    Lifting her hand, Tina dared to brush back the lock of curls that had fallen across Bette’s forehead. She then paused, waiting for Bette’s reaction, but when none came, the blonde slipped her hand down to cup Bette’s gaunt cheek. The skin felt cool to the touch. ”Is this a choice, or is this what you are now? Is there anything left of the old Bette? The one I…fell in love with? The one who was always so warm and passionate and loving..?” she whispered, caressing Bette’s cheek with her thumb. ”Come back to me, baby…”

    Just then Bette’s hand closed over Tina’s wrist, stopping the caressing movements Tina was making. Bette’s fingers were strong, bony and cold. Pulling Tina’s hand away from her face, Bette didn’t loosen her grip on it yet. She stared at the blonde intently, a muscle jumping in her jaw.

    ”I know your dirty little secret,” leaning closer, she whispered against Tina’s mouth.

    Tina blinked her eyes in confusion, but still felt her heart speed up and blood rising in her face.

    Bette smiled a slow, wicked smile. ”You keep lying to me… Over and over and over again… Don’t you know I always find out the truth?”

    ”Wh–what are you talking about?” Tina was beginning to stutter and hyperventilate.

    ”I know the whole truth… Every bit of it…” Bette said, her voice menacingly low. ”Don’t forget that.”

    The frown deeper on her face, Tina held her breath as she watched Bette take a couple of steps back, and after giving her one last dark look, the brunette turned around and walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind herself.

    With her eyes wide in shock, Tina numbly sat herself down on the edge of the bed, bringing her hand to her chest while she tried to calm her rapid heartbeat. She suddenly had a sinking feeling she knew what Bette meant.



    1. Hi! Thank you for the new chapter!

      So, Bette is return, but is she really fully return? Because like Tina i don’t recognize her anymore. What happen with her during this month?

      And what about Tina’s secret – what is it? Maybe Tina find a way to communicate with her family in US and Bette find out?

      I guess we need to wait and see.

    2. Hi Valerie:

      What a very nice surprise, wonderful chapter.

      Finally, she is back but changed, I believe all the suffering and starving have made their toll on her. She never was the easiest person in the world, but she was much better after she left jail, but now she has gone very far back.

      I believe it’s jealousy about Kate, like when Tina was still in college and had those girls after her, Bette has gone back to that; but now, I believe Tina can make her change to her nice way to be. At least Bette is reacting and is not numb anymore as when she arrived

      I think Bette needs time, but she owes an explanation to Tina. All those emotions, hidden in Bette’s mind and heart are making too much pressure, and now we see her reaction against Tina, who has sacrificed a lot, leaving family, friends, job, house, stability, just for her, that is something Bette should consider before going crazy against her.

      This has been an excellent chapter. I look forward to the next one, I know everybody is busy, but perhaps you could post the next one soon.

      Thank you, again Valerie.

    3. Whoa!!! What on earth is up with Bette? She is in need of some counseling badly! She is so dark and so withdrawn. Here Tina has been waiting for her for what a year and has no clue what has happened to Bette. She has had her own demons to face and control. She has had to forge a new life in a foreign land with people she doesn’t know very well and were not of her choosing. If I had been in this group, I would have insisted that Bette be treated by a medical doctor immediately. Explanation to the doctor: We have no idea why she is in this physical condition. She just show up one day like this. Yes she is our friend from America and no we had no idea she was coming.

      It takes more than a few days to get over a starving bout. And if she remained in this mental state for more than a week, then a private counselor would be brought in. She is being cold to everyone in the household, not just Tina. As to this secret of Tina’s. Bette refused to allow Tina to visit her in prison because she did not want Tina to see her in that manner. Once out of prison, she was reluctant to see Tina until they accidentally met and her friend encouraged Bette to see her and made arrangements for Bette to see her. At every crossroads, it has been Bette calling the shots. It has been Tina who has soften Bette’s heart and made her see that she really wants Tina as her life’s partner. Tina has remained loyal to Bette for years with the exception of the seventh through the tenth year of Bette’s imprisonment when she got together with Brenda, the heart doctor. Wasn’t Tina under the impression that Bette was in prison for many more years to come when she got out on parole? Bette is right; underneath it all, she is a monster. At least she is right now. The question becomes is that who she wants to be?

      I am really glad that Bette is in Auckland now. But I really want to see her become the Bette Porter we all know and love. I want to see her value and treasure Tina for the woman she is. Please do not let Bette snuff out Tina’s love for her like a candle. I feel its really close now.

      Great writing….cannot wait for the next chapter.

    4. Hi Valerie,

      What a pleasent surpise to see a new chapter!

      Wow, what happened with Bette? What makes her to act so cold and withdrawn, especially to Tina? What is Tina’s dirty litte secret and is that one of the reasons she acts so cold to her?

      I am worried about Bette, what happened when she was forced to do odd jobs for Helena and does Helena have anything to do with Tina’s secret?

      It has been quite an attack on Bette’s body and mind, working for Helena and the long journey on a cargo ship must have been intensive without food and drink.

      Her dark and gloomy feeling she has always been known for has increased tenfold and I’m worried about her. She needs help or has to open herself to Tina so that Tina can help her to become old Bette again, the one Tina has fallen in love with.

      What nobody said in their comments is the fact that everyone who lives in the house that Bette has cared for, uses their own names and that outsiders know it. I understand they think they are safe and fully trust their partners, but it is a big risk that they have taken. Kate seems to know Tina as Tina and not by her nickname. Very unwise.

      Ok, a very large comment, but that deserves this story!!!

      I hope you will update soon! Thank you!

    5. Great up date so drug out only to leave us hanging on Tina’s last words.. sounds like our Miss Helena have feed Bette a bit of information that didn’t set well with her…enough that may have pushed her off the edge. Problem is how you get her back she seems so lost almost brainwashed well I guess only time will tell right.. thank you waiting to see what up next.

    6. Always so happy seeing an update from you!!

      Wow it doesn’t seem like Bette is gonna get out of this anytime soon. I am curious as to what Tina has done or what she thinks she’s done and why Bette would be as enraged about it since she was away from Tina for a long time and was the sole reason for that.

      I don’t see Bette holding that animosity if it was over Tina attempting to make that call. Or maybe it’s the jealousy between her and Kate but nothing happened as far as we know. I’m thinking like everyone else Helena fed her false information since she used to be in love with Tina. Oh man.

      Please don’t make me wait too long!!

    7. Hola Valerie que bueno que hallas subido el capítulo me dejaste intrigada con lo que le pasó a bette y quisiera saber cual es secreto de Tina que bette sabe esperando con ansias el siguiente capítulo gracias por tus historias

    8. I really don’t like how this Bette treated with Tina. She obviously forgot that Tina abandon all her life only to be with Bette.
      And about what Tina’s lie she’s talking? I bet it something to do with Helena.

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