” You saw us in the Planet constantly because she works there and I love coffee. You saw her here this morning because she was dropping off the last of the things I had left at her apartment.”

I throw my hands up, “I still don’t understand. So, you were just trying to hurt me then?”

She grabs my shoulders, “God no, Alice. Every time I talked to Shane, she said you were doing great. I saw you out and about at times when you didn’t notice and you lookedhappy. I didn’t want to ruin that, I didn’t want to ruin you.”

She sighs, starting to pace the floor. “Lara and I fell together after we broke up. She was lonely, I was lonely and heart broke. I needed something and someone there to distract me; I’ve explained this to you. We tried thoughwell I tried to give myself to her.”

I turn my head, like that will ease the words I’m about to hear, “Dana, really I don’t need details.”

She sits next to me again, “No, really you do Alice. I have to explain this to you. I guess Lara was comfortable with being a substitute. I went on and on about you when we first hooked up. I made her listen to your show every week”

I smile, “Really?”

She nods, “Really. But, when we were.wellwhen we were being intimate one night, I let myself go and I called out for you.”

As weird as it sounds, hearing this makes me feel bad for Lara. In a way, Dana had used her, whether she accepted it or not.

Dana runs her hand through her hair, “Well, as you can imagine that was the stray that broke the camels back. We talked and realized we were together for all the wrong reasons. I mean, what better way to get back at Gabby then to be sleeping with her ex’s ex, eh?”

“Touch,” I say, shaking my head.

“In honesty, she has helping me a great deal in the past months. She helped me cope with the lose of you and thenwellwhen I found out I had cancer, she was there.”

Her words cut me deeper than intended I know. I wanted to be that person. I look away.

She notices, “Hey, Al, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just saying she was there because I let her be. But I’m through with living for other people. I am going to live for me and I want you Alice.” She pulls me into her embrace. “I want you if you’ll have me.”

I squeeze her hard, taking her in, one tear rolling down my face, “I hope you like this feeling, because I’m never going to let you go again.”