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If I Fall: Chapter 14
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She was admittedly having a hard time figuring out just where Dana stood with this new Alice situation. Every time she’d bring it up, Dana would immediately tense up and change the subject. It was almost as if she had an easier time talking about Alice when the writer actually refused to talk to her at all. Dana had no problem confiding in Lara about Alice towards the end of their relationship and after. She even had no problem talking openly about Alice’s mental transgressions and how much Dana was worried about her. And recently Dana had confided that she missed her best friend dearly and hoped Lara understood that she was going to try to get that friendship back. And Lara did understand because Dana gave her no reason to doubt her platonic intentions. But now, with Dana seemingly getting just what she wanted, why then was it so difficult for her to deal with it? It had been seven whole months since the breakup…a breakup that Dana initiated because she said it was what she wanted. Why now, after all this time, was the topic of Alice suddenly off limits? Why suddenly was Alice such a sore subject between them? Lara had listened to Dana agonize about the decision to break it off with Alice for nearly two months after the breakup. Why now did Dana find it so difficult to even broach the subject around her?
But while all of these miserable thoughts ran through Lara’s mind on a daily basis, she didn’t dare voice any of them to Dana herself. She knew better than anyone how Alice’s insecurities and jealousy pushed Dana away and ultimately back into Lara’s arms. She’d be damned if she let the same thing happen with her. So she remained stoic, suppressing her innate desire to demand answers from Dana about who she was in love with and where she wanted to be. And she hoped against hope that if she were to ask these questions of her girlfriend, Dana could quell all of her Alice-related fears telling Lara that she was all she needed. But none of that was a reality for either one. So instead, the chef continued to play the picture of emotional support when it came to Dana’s friendship with Alice. And she vowed to not go down without a fight. Most of all, she was steadfast in her belief that if Dana did run away again, it wouldn’t be because Lara left her no other choice. And she prayed that if Dana did run away again, it wouldn’t be straight back into Alice’s arms.
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Pfft I beat that Bradshaw hands down, I’m sure she copied me actually :P Anyway on to the reason for this comment, my god this gets better and better and I sincerely mean that! I like to read Lara’s point of view even though I’m nto a fan of her character but thats probably because the show didn’t explore her enough. Dana needs to sit down, breathe and seriously re-evaluate what she wants in life and more importantly, who. Alice should be honest with Jules if she’s not ready for commitment, it sounds like she’s stringing her along from fear and that’s pretty bad even though it’s coming from a good place. Shit I could ramble on and on but I will save you the pain and just say well done! PPS :)
Okay, I cried for like half this chapter, it’s that damn good. It’s like Shane said in Loud and Proud, when she told Alice that she could see Dana loves her…then asks her if she can’t see that. I think it’s always been obvious that Dana loves Alice beyond life, she just doesn’t know how to say it, and poor Alice somehow can’t see it for what it is and needs the words. Okay, so that’s my essay on Danish for the day. And yes, I heart Curb Your Enthusiasm. I was pretty sure that’s where you’d taken the sunglasses thing from, but I didn’t want to say anything in case I was wrong. I sense that you’ll be getting these two stubborn biatches together before too long, and I couldn’t be happier about it…just please have them communicate, k? Okay, I’m really done now, I swear. Love this more every time you update.
Even the fucking shrink knows that Dana loves Alice……greats chapter PPS
Great story and great update. You do a wonderful job of representing Alice and Dana, strengths and flaws alike.
Usually I completely relate to Dana as you write her, and explain her twisted motivations. :-) At the end of this update I completely related to Alice. Maybe that’s why I love this couple so much. I guess I should thank you for inadvertantly giving me the therapy I so obviously need. lol I’m glad the doctor was able to see how Dana feels about Alice. Alice can’t be objective about her interactions with Dana, nor can she trust her feelings for the athlete. As Alice was describing what eventually happens when she and Dana spend time together, it was pretty clear that Dana reacts that way because of her own feelings for Alice. Alice’s heart may suspsect that is the reason for Dana’s change, but her mind can’t allow her to set herself up for the heartache that will come. I’m so glad you had time to update. You are writing a wonderful story.
Loved this chapter, liked Lara’s point of view, and Harriet giving Alice some direction to whats going on with Dana. Thanks for an awsome post!!
that was great. I can’t wait to see what Alice does with this new info that Harriet gave her