The last reason Dana feared confiding about Alice in anyone other than Lara, was that she was afraid that anyone else who knew them would effectively talk her out of it. It wasn’t like she was completely convinced that she wanted to end things with Alice, but right now she was so confused and emotionally spent that she just needed to make a decision and go with it. Even if it was the wrong one, at least breaking up with Alice would give her some space to breathe and to reflect on what went wrong. If they continued on the way they were, Dana was afraid that they’d end up hating each other and never recover from that.   

Lara grabbed a tissue off the end table and knelt down in front of Dana, wiping the tears that were tricking down her face. “Dana, I don’t know what else to tell you. It seems like this person you’re in a relationship with now isn’t the person you got into the relationship with in the first place.”

“I just want my best friend back,” Dana explained in a bare whisper.

“I know, sweetie.” Lara leaned in to wrap Dana up in her arms. Dana relaxed into the hug and sighed. “It just seems like you had your best friend without any problems before you two started dating.”

“I know. But I can’t break up with Alice, it’d break her heart. And then I wouldn’t just lose my girlfriend, but I’d definitely lose my best friend…probably for good.”

“You don’t know that, Dana.”

“Lara, she’d be so hurt and angry. And miserable.”

“So I guess you’d rather just be miserable enough for the both of you?”

Dana pulled away and looked down at her hands. “No,” she started meekly. “I know I can’t sacrifice my own happiness for Alice’s. I just…God, I wish this wasn’t so hard. I used to think that falling in love with my best friend would make things so much easier. But now it’s like there’s just no separating the too. Fuck, I was so stupid. I can’t just stop being her girlfriend and expect things to fall back to the way they were before. But I don’t want to lose her completely.”