And the only way she knew how to rationalize such a dramatic change in thought was that this was not the Alice she fell in love with. The Alice she fell in love with was fun and confident and sexy and always knew what to say. Her laughter would make Dana’s heart skip a beat, and when she smiled at her from across a crowded room, Dana would sometimes wonder if her heart had stopped beating completely. The Alice she fell in love with made Dana believe that she had found her soul mate. And now…well now this new Alice was overbearing and jealous and insecure and made Dana feel like she could do nothing right. And that scared her. Mostly because she had never really been in love before, and she didn’t know if this was normal behavior. It didn’t feel normal to her, but maybe this was what’s supposed to happen? What the hell did she know anyway? The most serious relationship she had before Alice was with Tonya, who only cared about Dana’s financial viability and what it meant to be marrying “Dana Fairbanks, Lezzy Tennis Star”.

Hell, Dana had no experience in dealing with any of this and she had no idea if she was even cut out for this love thing…if this is how it went. She didn’t want to leave Alice, especially now when she apparently needed her the most. But if she kept on this way, and Alice kept taking those fucking pills and clinging to her for dear life, she was going to do something she’d regret. No, Dana didn’t know if this was how love was supposed to go. But she didn’t want to stick around and find out.

“You’re right. You’re right, Lara. I can’t be with her when she’s like this. It’s just too much. She scares me with the things she says and does, and I…I don’t think I can handle it. It’s just not healthy for either one of us.”

Lara smiled weakly at Dana, hoping to comfort her, meanwhile trying not to seem too ecstatic over the fact that Dana would now be single. It wasn’t as if she was actively trying to break her and Alice up, but she saw how crazy Alice had become and she knew Dana wasn’t really happy in the relationship anyway. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t be there to pick up the pieces when the shit did hit the fan. And maybe, in a little while, Dana would realize what a healthy, uncomplicated, happy relationship Lara could give her.

“I think that’s a good decision.”

Dana laughed to herself bitterly, “Right…a good decision. I just wish it didn’t have to feel so bad.”