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If I Fall: Chapter 23
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"Jules, I’m…"
"No, no." She shook her head adamantly and Alice immediately stopped talking. It appeared that the musician knew the inevitable guilt-laden apology was impending and on its way out of Alice’s mouth. "Don’t be sorry, Alice. I knew exactly what I was getting into before I even asked you out all those months ago. I listened to your show on KCRW, I knew how fucked up you still were over her. I got into this with my eyes wide open. And it was just really foolish of me to believe that you could have genuinely felt something for anyone else."
"But I did!" Alice’s limbs sprung to life as she crossed the room in only two steps to kneel down next to Jules. "I did, Juliana. I felt a great deal for you. I still do. I care about you so much."
"Right," she nodded. "You’ll have to excuse me then if somehow that’s just not enough for me." She raised herself up and opened a drawer in the nightstand beside the bed.
Alice was too exhausted to hold back the tears, and now it wasn’t only her shaky voice that was betraying the brave façade she was trying to wear. "You’re right, it shouldn’t be. You are so incredible and deserve so much more than I can ever imagine giving you."
The blonde immediately stopped removing items from the drawer and spun around quickly to meet Alice’s eyes. "But it was enough, Alice. For a little while there it seemed to be enough for me. I really thought…," she laughed sardonically to herself, "I really thought that we had something."
"We did," said Alice in a small voice.
"Until Dana came back into the picture."
There was a tense silence that followed as they both stood there, looking at the other unflinchingly. But it was Alice who couldn’t bear the tension anymore and spoke first.
"I didn’t intend for any of this to happen." She ran a hand through her messy hair and sighed heavily. "Please Jules. I hope you don’t think that I was just using you until…"
"Until Dana got her shit together and realized how much she lost when she left you?" She raised her eyebrows and scoffed before continuing on. "No, Alice. I don’t think you planned any of this. And I don’t feel as big of a fool as I probably should right now because I know you’re not the using type. And it’d also probably be safe to assume that you’re standing here right now hurting over this too. But at this point in time, I really can’t stand here and try to ease your guilt."
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YAY!!! I love it! Post Soon!
Yay! I’m sitting in a hotel room in London, online for the first time in almost a week, and I see this on the first page. So happy you posted, and what a great chapter. I’m glad my girls are talking and holdong off on just jumping each others’ bones, although I have to be a perv and admit that I think they should jump each others’ bones all the time. And I know she’s already been claimed, but can I have Jules? Give a girl a break, I got through all of L3 without even a kiss. But it was such an awesome time, and all f them were gorgeous. Leisha and Erin kept watching each other talk on stage, and it was enough to make your heart melt. Well, maybe just mine since I’m a sap. This comment is hella long, sorry!
you blow me away. that was so good. i am glad alice went easy on dana when she tried to walk out, that would have sucked if they already got in a fight. i knew jules was going to know (but how could she not?) and yeah she should have let alice have it – but i’m glad she didn’t. we need to meet up in ny sometime soon? i will email you.
What a great update. This is such a fantastic story it’s been such a journey that you have taken this pair on to get to this point I can’t wait to see what you write for them together. Thanks for updating.
I have loved this story from the very beginning. This chapter is another example of your finest writing, beautifully executed. My heart melted while reading A & D’s tender moments. They absolutely belonged together and thanks for reuniting them at last. Simultaneously, I also felt sorry for Jules. Her speech was accurate, wise, thoughtful and most important of all, flawless. It is really pointless to be someone’s #2. Lastly, I want to convey to you my utmost admiration of your ability to deliver a perfectly crafted story. Bravo!
Hey, I’m totally new here and this was one of the first stories i started reading, I’ve been a bit of a silent reader but I finally decided to come and join the gang. I’m so happy you’ve found time to come and write again, this was a flawless and heartfelt chapter and I can’t fault you. Amazing =)
you rock!! so much too, more more please!! i crave this story so much it’s a little weird actually. Your one of two writers that i get really excited for wen i see u’ve posted i just can’t get enough and now that they’re finally back together its just gunna get so much better, poor jules though oh so sorry for her but it had to happen for danish sake. I can’t wait till next time on if i fall…. neways until next time i guess :) snaps for the swissmister!!!
Excellent chapter as always, swismiss24!! You write both girls so well — so honestly. And it’s great that they are actually communicating. I also love the maturity of the both of them. They both wanted to stay and get re-connected but both realized they had other things they needed to do. Gives me hope that things will work out this time around for them. “Capitan” Hee! Jules? Come on over here and MaGoose will take care of you. ;-D Thanks so much, swismiss24. This really was an amazing update to the story!
I feel sorry for Jules. She’s a great woman, if she were real and here, well somebody would be awfully lucky to have her! hehe This is one awesome chapter swismiss. But even if Jules is great and all, it wouldn’t be fair o neither of them if they continued sailing their ship. Thanks for updating! dear awesomeness:)
Nicely done yet again! I really like the fact Danish slowed down and talked to each other. It’s encouraging to see their relationship maturing. As much as I liked the impulsiveness of “Finally” in S2, I equally enjoyed those few glimpses we had into their still-intimate but less frenzied conversations. Thanks for rounding out their interation for us here. Congratulations on your Bar results! As always, I’m looking forward to the next installment. Thanks for continuing.
I hope you plan to update this AMAZING story soon!