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If I Fall: Chapter 24
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Jules was also the one person that wasn’t currently putting any pressure on the writer either. Not that Dana was actively doing so, but just thinking about how complex and unresolved matters were between them made Alice’s stomach twist and turn with trepidation. And at this point since she wasn’t able to vent to her best friend, and everyone else seemed just a little too close to the situation to remain sympathetic to Alice’s immobilizing fear, she selfishly wished that she hadn’t just broken the heart of the support system she had come to depend on for months.
Yes, it was a difficult quandary to find herself in at this stage of the game, but Alice knew she had no one to blame but herself. She had somehow found the courage to let Jules go in the name of reclaiming her one true love, yet she was unable to take the next step and let herself be with Dana for real. This self-imposed holding pattern was becoming more difficult to rationalize as the days wore on, but she also had no idea how to extricate herself from it when the fear seemed to be overpowering her heart.
Alice used to think then when it came to love, she was the kind of person who would gladly throw caution to the wind, running the risk of getting hurt if the payoff was being able to share her life with someone special. But the breakup with Dana changed all that, and as much as it pained her to admit it, she was probably going to carry those scars with her for the rest of her life. And true it was ultimately Alice who picked herself up off the ground, even during the hours that seemed darkest without even a glimmer of light to be found. But it was Jules’ hand that helped her up. And now here she was, emotionally overwrought and frozen by fear, and she didn’t have Jules around to push her forward.
But there was Dana. Dana’s could now be the hand she held, the one to support her when she was scared, to lift her up when she didn’t have the resolve to do it herself. The athlete claimed that that was exactly the role she wanted to play in Alice’s life: to be her best friend and her lover and her support system, above all else. But the writer had thought Dana to be that person before and look where it ultimately got her. How the hell was she supposed to just jump right back into something when there were no guarantees that her heart would be intact after she landed?
Exhaling a trembling breath and shaking her head as if to clear it, Alice snatched up the cell phone in her bag, turned it on and quickly hit seven digits on her phone. One ring…two rings….
"H—Hi," the writer quickly answered back, attempting to conceal the shakiness in her tone. "Listen, I’m sorry I haven’t called. I’ve wanted to—I just…well, I didn’t exactly know where to begin. And, I still don’t, but I know that we should really talk about this and I—I’d really like to see you."
There, that wasn’t so difficult. There was a momentary pause while Alice waited with bated breath, praying for an agreeable response.
A small smile crept across her face as the tension in her body seemed to ease slightly. "Oh, you are? Okay sure you can stop by here then, I’m home now. Alright. Ten minutes? Great. See you then…Bye Jules."
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First of all, welcome back!!! Second of all…. I thought she called Dana!!! Anyway, I love Jules too. OMG I hate to admit but I love this wavering thing. Yes, all the while it pains me to see Alice and Dana suffer, I actually enjoy it. I must be M out of S.M….. Anyway… I am so freaking glad you’re back! I was longing for you and Alice’s “sex” voice. Gah, what an expression. Yes, indeed, I love her voice. Alice needs to get some courage and talk to Dana. Afterall, one she loves is DANA!! :) hee heeeeThank you so much for posting.!! Plz plz post soon!
Ok just so you know i have loved ur story from day one and sorry i havent commented sooner just wanted to be up to date before i did!! Althou not reli tht happy with u right now JULES??? Why she goin to Jules for?? I know its hard for her to go to Dana after everything but after that fucking hot Bathroom scene everyone inc Alice herself knows tht those two are meant to be together and need to start taking steps towards it even if it is slow …. please lol!!! Anyway rant over reli reli love ur story cant wait for ur next update lol!! :) PPS x x
please update again
You really love this whole cliffhanger business, don’t you? I might be a little upset if you didn’t do it so well. I’m really glad you updated, and this isn’t even close to being filler. It’s necessary for the story, if Danish didn’t wallow in some sorta thought bubble for awhile after everything that’s happened, it wouldn’t make any sense. I just hope Jules doesn’t take advantage of Alice’s emotional state. Not that I think she’d do that deliberately or anything, but…yeah. Okay I’ve been rambling for like ever here, but what I want you to take away from this dissertation is that you rule muchly.
8 Pages is not filler, It was pretty damn good…Please get Dana and Alice in the same room…Love how you write your A&D!
OK. So your filler makes my filler look even more like filler. ;-D Seriously — this was a great chapter. I understand that Alice is going through a lot, but, she really should have called Dana. Leaving her hanging wasn’t very nice. I’m glad Dana is committing herself to the relationship in a way she didn’t the first time around. Thank goodness Shane, Tina and Boo were there to help Dana. I love how your articulated both Alice and Dana’s thoughts on the situation. It is interesting how they both are thinking the same way — what Alice needs is what Dana is prepared to give her. But they need to talk to realize that. Argh. Bad Alice! I understand her reasoning, but, what if Dana sees Jules over there? Does Alice know Dana is leaving soon for NY? Can I beg you to PPS?
oh i missed you swiss.. so happy about the update oh yeh..i love reading what u write i could just read it all day lol wat an interesting ending i hope i dnt have to wait another month for an update BUT if that is wat it takes then i will thank you!!!!!!
Whoosh! Ok it’s taken me ohhh-4 months and some odd days to comment but here i am! PLEASE update, i just cannot stand playing out all of the possible scenarios in my head. You have really done an excellent job with this whole adventure. I just have this dying urge to know what happens-how does it go with Jules-with our beloved Danish….what happens? Only you know and i am begging for an update or even a small glimpse of Alice and Dana happy and together. But another couple of months wont bother me if that’s how long it takes for you to post somemore of this beautifully written story. Thanks so much swiss!
This is the first Danish fic I have read and still one of the best. I’ll die if you don’t finish it, lol. I need HAPPY DANISH!!! Please update!!!