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If I Fall: Chapter 5
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Dana quickly recognized the back of Alice’s head and took a deep breath to calm her nerves. She wanted desperately to talk to her, to start rebuilding the friendship that she had so callously thrown away all those months ago, but Alice would likely bolt the second she realized Dana was within 100 feet of her. Not that she really blamed her. She did in fact leave the woman she loved when she had needed her the most. And although Alice wouldn’t allow the tennis player to even get close enough to speak to her, Dana was pretty sure Alice thought Dana left her for Lara. Dana wasn’t exactly sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. After all, would she rather be left for someone else, or left because she was too difficult to handle? Either way sucked and Dana figured that Alice had every right to hate her. She even hated herself when she thought about how she abandoned her best friend like that. And although the guilt was unbearable at times, Dana knew she couldn’t have helped Alice in the state she was in. Come to think of it, Alice didn’t want her help, or anyone’s for that matter. And this made Dana afraid that Alice was going to keep on abusing the pills and booze until she did something stupid. From Dana’s vantage point on the outside, Alice did seem visibly better. At least better than 6 months ago when Dana was allowed to communicate with her. She just didn’t seem as out of control and prone to irrational outbursts. But despite this improvement, she still wasn’t the same Alice. Maybe she did find a way to curtail her addictions, but Dana couldn’t help but notice the subtle changes. And even though Alice had convinced them all that she was fine, Dana knew this wasn’t the case. When she spoke now, her words were often slurred. And the bright eyes that Dana once got lost in were dim and unfocused. And she was wearing her glasses more, which was definitely hot, but Dana wondered if it was to conceal the dark circles that had formed under her eyes. And the worst part was that she knew she lost her right to ever ask Alice about it or help her through it. No, the last thing Alice needed right now was for Dana to remind her of how badly she needed help.
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This story just keeps getting better and better, I was so unbelieveably excited to see all my fav authors posting in the past couple of days and not one of you guys has been a disappointment. This story is just simply amazing and you portray Alice so well, I kinda feel what we didn’t see in the show is shown in this fanfic which is comforting :) I love where you’re taking this as tragic and heartbreaking as it is, it’s also f*cking brilliant. Can’t wait for the next chap. xx
whoa! could actually feel the burn of Alice’s last words. that was an awsome chapter, looking forward to your next!!
Ouch. This is painful to read, but it’s so well done that it’s worth it. This thing just keeps getting better, and it’s so much more realistic than what we were allowed to see. It’s good to see that Alice recognized Bette’s condescending attitude, it always bugged the crap out of me. Anyway, I hope some sort of resoultion will happen soon.
I see what you mean about them barely being friends. I was thinking the same thing as Muted – “ouch”, but I must truly be evil because as much as Dana may have needed to break up with Alice – the way she did it was really crappy – and I wasn’t exactly feeling sorry for her. Alice definitely needs to get herself together, and ultimately only hurts herself by holding a grudge against Dana, but I loved her parting comment. Bette is definitely an unforgiving pain in the neck, but hey – we need all kinds to make the world go ’round. I was surprised that you made the time to update because I know you must be super busy. Maybe you’ll be able to sneak a few more updates as class assignments… Well, it was worth a try. :-)This story does keep getting better and better.
I know its cruel to laugh at someone else’s misfortune but this is very funny and very sad…PPS
Six months is a long time to avoid someone. There’d have to be an undercurrent of tension that made it hard on everyone, not just Alice and Dana. As for them “choosing” Dana, it’s maybe just that Dana’s appearing to be a bit more “in control” since the breakup. Bette and Al… well, Alice wasn’t that tolerant of Bette’s “weakness” when she cheated on Tina, so I guess Bette’s being intolerant of Alice’s. Being pally with Helena probably isn’t helping matters. They obviously still care about each other or they couldn’t hurt one another. Those two (B & Al) need to talk. And all the above notwithstanding, six months *is* a long time for the group to have to choose to spend time with either one (Al) or the other (Dana). It’d be draining. See? Your post made me think. Keep ’em coming, I’m really into this story.
God! I thought that watching the break up and awkwardness between Danish was bad, but you write so damn crystal clear and perfect that I think this is harder to handle! Please update again soon, seeing as how I fucking love this story! And by the way, I still have one more chapter to my Danish story. Maybe if you update again soon, I could work out an update from me! ;-)