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If I Fall: Chapter 7
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Try as she may, she was having more trouble than initially anticipated quitting the pills cold turkey. Her doctor had advised her that she needed to wean herself off of them so as to not put her body through the pain and trauma of chemical withdrawal, but even the weaning process was more difficult that Alice had anticipated. At first her cutting back was out of necessity more than desire. She was finishing off the bottles entirely too quickly to feed her habit properly as the doctor refused to write out new prescriptions so soon after the last ones. But it also helped that the receptionist at the front desk of her doctor’s office was harboring a minor crush on “her favorite radio personality”, and would gladly give Alice all the free samples she asked for. Alice knew it was immoral at best, and down right wrong to use her skills at flirting for prescription drugs, but she just figured that desperate times called for desperate measures. And in her case, desperate fit the bill.
It wasn’t as if she was desperate to fulfill anything other than the desire to keep herself medicated, either. Her sex drive was pretty much non-existent, and figured it was a direct result of both the anti-depressants working their magic, and the even the idea alone of having sex with anyone other than Dana made her stomach turn. She had tried, on a few occasions, to sleep with other people after the breakup happened. And this was more to make her feel wanted than it was to satisfy any sexual urge she may have had. After all, Alice always took pride in her insatiable sexual appetite, but since the breakup she was forced to come to terms with have no desire whatsoever. So she’d go out at night, usually by herself in order to avoid the concerned opinions typically voiced by her friends, and usually go home with the first moderately attractive person that would pay her any attention.
And typically Alice would will her body to go through with having sex with a perfect stranger, just to feel something again. Or at least, the time spent with this other person would be something else for her brain to focus on, rather than fixating on Dana. Except that she would find herself imagining she was with Dana, or closing her eyes and wishing that when she opened them Dana would be the one fucking her. But no matter how it turned out, it always left Alice feeling colder and emptier than she could recall feeling before.
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Woah so much happened and explained about our girl but firstly, Alice mate what are you doing going out and getting yourself emotionally involved with another woman when your in no fit state to handle yourself? Then again Jules could be could for her but maybe only as a distraction from her underlying problem…Dana. And now that Dana and Lara are rocky over Alice will they break up? And how will Alice react to Dana being single if they do? Will this cause Alice to flip out again blaming herself and how will Dana react to know that Alice is out dating again? oh my god way too many questions I need answers to like right now lol. I think I’m starting to sound like Carrie Bradshaw from SATC with these questions so I’m gonna round it up by saying awesome post, loving this story, you may not post often but damn they are brilliant when you do! xx
Gah! So much tension! So much uncertainty! I don’t know that I can take it! And dammit, you made me like Jules. I’m not supposed to like people other than Dana with Alice, so I’m quite perplexed, especially since you gave her Samuel L. Jackson’s character name in Pulp Fiction. But anyway, aside from my vexation I loved it. So much was explained, and you made it realistic and totally fitting for Alice’s character. I think I’m going to go crawl into a hole in shame now. Toodles.
WOot woot good for Alice! I wonder how Dana’s gonna take Alice dating again. Thanks for another awsome chapter, post more soon!!
I haven’t read yet, but there’s nothing more productive than posting!Okay, maybe that’s not quite true, but you should write as much as you can now – to make up for when you’ll be too busy again in a few weeks. (That didn’t sound self-serving, did it?) lol
I liked Jules too. I didn’t find her annoying at all, though when she called in, she sounded an awful lot like Dana. I’ve never wanted Lara and Dana to stay together – until now. Alice may not be ready for another relationship, but I’m all for a little distraction. I don’t think Alice’s problem is Dana. I think her problem is Alice, and her family issues growing up. I’m looking forward to seeing where you go with Jules and Alice.
i finally got caught up reading the past 5 posts and it is great. i love that you have given some background and reasoning for the things that alice and dana have done. it is definitely true to character. jules sounds super cute. i am excited for jealous dana when she sees them together. post soon.
So I have never read this fic before, but your summary sounded interesting so I gave it a shot and it’s great! I am gonna go catch up right now. lol. I also wanted to say that when you were naming bands and you mentioned Garbage and No Doubt, I was thinking…ok cool. This girl has good taste. But then…you mention Jenny fucking Lewis and Rilo Kiley…and I gotta say…you made me a fan for life. RK is my favorite band of all time and I have met Jenny and the gang several times. That was just too fucking cool when you mentioned them. So anyways, sorry for the ramble. This was great and I look forward to the next chapter. I’m off to read the old ones. lol
Loving this story and hoping you post again soon!