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In Too Deep Ch. 4
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“What about you not trusting anyone?”
“I still don’t trust anyone.” Shane snuffed her cigarette out with her shoe and tugged on her shirt. “Like I told you, keep an eye on them.” She patted Jenny on the shoulder and walked away. Jenny stared down at the two women as they did their job. Shane walked down the steps and walked over to Carmen as she was getting off the phone.
“Do you have runners?”
“A few why?”
“How many is a few?” Carmen looked at Shane.
“About three runners here and there.”
“That’s why you’re not making enough money slick. You need at least six to ten runners to keep the money flowin’ in here. If you want, we can get you more runners.”
“Hey AP—.”
“She’s on it already, I’m a step ahead of ya.” Carmen winked at her and walked away. Shane smirked and nodded. Jenny watched from above and grabbed her little vile from her wrist. She opened it up and snorted coke up her nose. She sniffed hard and wiped her nose. She closed her eyes and licked her lips. Shane looked up and saw what Jenny did. She did a double take and didn’t want to believe it. She clenched her hand into a fist and bit her bottom lip. She’s going to deal with her later.
****
Carmen stood out on the balcony, and Shane pulled her pack of cigarettes out of her pocket. She put one to her slightly parted lips and lit it. Carmen turned around and saw Shane. She turned back around and looked out to the city.
“You want one?” Shane held out the pack. Carmen turned and grabbed one out of the pack. She put it to her lips, and Shane lit it for her. Shane leaned against the banister as Carmen exhaled. Shane looked at Carmen as she licked her lips. She looked away and took a drag from her cigarette.
“The runners are out there on the streets and making you that money you been looking for.” Carmen took another drag of her cigarette and raked her fingers through her hair.
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I’m caught up now. So Dana is dealing to Jenny. Verrrrrrrry interesting. The scene with the guns reminded me a bit of “Face/Off” when everyone was pointing a gun at someone in that church. PPS!
I’ve got 2 words….time line. It feels like Carmen and Helena just got here 2 days ago and already they’re taking over half the business. Story is hot, don’t get me wrong but some things are just a bit off. Shane doesn’t open up that quickly….but I guess with Carmen, anything is possible :p But I hope you don’t feel rushed. Cuz I mean, Carmen got raped by Shane(it was hot :p) and now she’s jumping back into her bed with glee. Okay, time for the smelly stuff to hit the fan lmao. Alice wanted to chop Helena to pieces. Now, they’re all over each other. I feel like she’s that way cuz she hasn’t gotten laid in a long while. Jenny on coke and Shane is pissed? Or Jenny on coke from Dana? I’m lost. Is Jenny some inside-man or what? Why is she paying for coke anyway? That should come with the job no? I mean, she gets paid and can get a tub of snow for her bonus. Okay I’m rambling. I have a feeling…Carmen enjoyed her previous time with Shane…cuz she doesn’t seem pissed enough about it. But now that Carmen has Shane by the proverbial nut-sack, well…Shane’s brain is already out the window. Okay, okay, okay….great update. I’m a bit antsy but eh…time line please? Oh, does Jenny know that Carmen and Helena work for Dana…or wait has Jenny been working on Shane as a cop, the whole time…from way back then?
hey ACB! great update! but i do agree with TMAJO… its not that its totally confsing or anything its just that it’ll be even more better… anyway, i still love ur story and would read it anyway you’d write it… so keep it up! PPS!
Oh no, please don’t be sorry about the rape scene on my (or anyone else’s) account. It’s your story and you stayed true to your vision. You’ve stayed true to the characters you’ve created and, of course, their actions prove it. You don’t have to apologize for any of it. Right now, even though I find much of Shane’s actions repulsive (it’s just a normal reaction of mine), I still understand why she’s doing it. And if the beginning of the story starts out with Shane acting like a completely ruthless drug lord, then I’ll believe it wholeheartedly. In fact, you’ve done such a good job with the characters that it’s hard not to take them and their actions seriously, as far as the story is concerned. Okay, sorry about the rant. Sorry. I’m gonna read the story now. And thanks for answering my question. (I’ll be back with thoughts on this update once I read it. Hah! And you thought my rant was over. Not even close, ’cause I’m a total windbag.)
Ok what the hell is going on here, what the hell is Dana doing dealing drug with Jenny, damn this is bad and drama coming. Ok post soon please, thanks!
ACB, You are a twisted author and thank the heavens for that. I think that this tale is a great take on all of the characters and Dana’s deception was another knife into justice’s back. I can understand Carmen’s reluctance to continue but am happy that she is seeing the big picture. Maybe she will get her revenge in due course. Blood curdling and exciting stuff. More please and thank you very much for the bravery of following your own thoughts and ideas of fan fiction. Diversity is a wonderful thing. Your Loyal Fan.
Okay, I just caught up with this story. I love the Helena/Alice scenes. Can’t wait for more.
Agree also with TMAJO, but this story is really good. Perhaps you shouldn’t let Shane turn into Carmen’s puppy just yet. But bring on the NC-17 anyways (yeah, I’m a perv). Looking forward to the next chapters ! :)
Well, I’m glad that Carmen showed some cojones in this chapter, because I’m sure that brought up her “street cred” a few dozen notches. And I noticed that Alice said goodbye to her “don’t mix pleasure and business” rule. Out the window! LOL! But I won’t blame her, it was bound to happen. On another note, I can see why Carmen and Helena are getting more on their plate in this chapter. Like you wrote, they’re working with Shane, so it’s understandable that they’ll be making some changes, here and there, to improve the system. But at the end of the day Shane is still getting the profits. No takeover. And I think I understand Shane’s anger toward Jenny. Any (successful) dealer knows not to use their own product and not to surround themselves with employees who do, because that’s when the business suffers. An obvious reason is that people get sloppy if they’re dependent. But the main reason is that loyalties end up getting placed on the drug and on *anyone* who provides it, instead of the business and the personal bonds that hold it together (like this story has shown). So now we see that Jenny’s loyalty is to Dana because she’s been helping Jenny support her drug habit (which is probably pretty bad, since she was a junkie before). But her loyalty is probably not as a cop, because we saw that Dana pulled a gun on Jenny, and they also have this dealer/user thing going. What I’m wondering is what Dana is up to, where Jenny got the money (was it really “dirt nap” guy who was stealing from Shane? Hmmm.), and, like TMAJO wrote, does she know about Carmen and Helena being cops. But that’s what story development is for right? So you don’t have to answer my questions just yet, just let me know if I’m out of line with anything I write. :D Can’t wait to read more. (now *that* was a long-ass rant. Told you I’m a windbag! LOL! Sorry, I can’t help myself.)
The story is fantastic! GOO SHANE! :D Please post more!