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Instinct part8
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“I just cant help to feel like I let her down… I gave her hope… and now…”
“Look a me… this day… this day you feel helpless, but this day makes all does other days when you loose a life seem ok. Because she’s not dead… This day makes you grateful you have a chance to do anything at all… you take it in..”
“I’m not a very good doctor… I mean this affects me… this isn’t suppose to affect me… I’m a freaking surgeon for god sake”
“You surgeons like to pretend you are all hardcore scientist. You like to pretend you are fearless. But the truth is, you think you can cut away that that hunts you, us. Weakness death. I don’t know anyone who isn’t hunt my nothing… left alone anyone. Feeling doesn’t make you a bad doctor… it makes you human” I am staring straight ahead when I say that. Izzy turns to look at me I do the same and we smile
“I get why she likes you” and now I’m blushing
“oh please”
“no really… you’re wonderfull…so thank you… thanyou for what you said, thank you for making me smoke”
“I didn’t make you”
“Right… well I have to go”
“Ok see you later” she threw her cig stepped on it and started to go in the hospital. But then she looked back
“Oh and Carmen…”
“Yea?”
“I know you’re married…. And what Shane did was horrible but… please give her another chance… I swear, you wont regret it” then she turns around and I look forward…
Looking forward…. Forward… future… having faith in the future
I remember something my mom used to say… she’d say ‘Faith is to believe what you do not see: the reward of this faith is to see what you believe’… all of a sudden I feel like telling that to Shane…I want Shane to have faith… to believe in faith… so I ran back to Shane’s room… I don’t care that she doesn’t want to talk to me. I open the door and she looks at me and she looks mad I’m in here again
“Look… I know you don’t want me here now but I want you to listened… Faith is to believe what you do not see: the reward of this faith is to see what you believe” silence and I feel stupid because she’s staring at me like I am one big stupid woman… and I know I probably have this stupid look on my face like I’ve just discovered the secret of the world
“Fate isn’t a medicine… faith cant heal you….”
“What the fuck do you have to be such an asshole I’m just traying to help-“then I noticed Shane turns red and she’s holding her neck with a scared look on her face “Shane? SHANE” then she starts chaking oh my god Shane!
“HELP! IZZY! SOMEONE! HELP!” I get next to Shane and I’m crying not knowing what to do, then like 5 people come in the room and start doing all this things to her, Izzy comes in “FUCK SHANE! don’t fucking die on me! not now”
“Carmen I need you to go” I get next to Shane but she doesn’t look at me
“Look at me.. Shane look at me….” she does “ you are not gonna die today…. You’re not gonna die today… say it… say it.”
“She can’t talk Carmen, she’s going to be ok now let us work” two nurses take me away, oh my god fuck, fuck
“FUCK! SHANE!” I cant stop crying… I’m so fucking scared… she can’t die… she just can’t. She can’t die knowing one of the last things I said to her is that sh’s an asshole, FUCK…. I see Alice Bette Tina Helena kit all running towards a crying me and I just don’t know what to say… fuck fuck SHANE!
“Carmen what’s wrong?” Alice said
“Carmen what?” Bette said looking inside the room trough the little window
“What happened?”
what the fuck do I say?
No matter how badly something is hurting us… Sometimes letting it go hurts even worst.
—-
I told you this one was … well something.. drop a line people…because if you don’t… the story ends here jajaja lol I sound determined don’t I?
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My husband had a heart transplant and lived over 15 yrs. So if the right domor comes along,Shane could live a long time. If she takes her medicine and take care of herself. So you cant stop,you need to finish what you start and Dr Izzy will do the rest for Shane. It takes a life to save a life. Thanks
You REALLY can’t stop dur!!! Hell, I’ma need a damn heart transplant if you do stop hur…. lol!!! But, I’m lovin’ dis, babez, plez updat like now cuz I need my fix like now, lol. Like alwayz from me, Baby-gurl, LYLAS :p Stank, da’ one and only, chicka :D Holla at me if ya need anything, babez ;-)
i love ur stories, ive been reading them, please dont stop writting they rly are amazing. Sharmen!!
Oh no!!! Please update soon!
Okay, so I’ve FINALLY finished reading all the chapters. Whew! One major complaint about the updates: Why so short?? ;) Kidding, they’re not too short. I’m just greedy and want them to keep going and going and going. I’m really liking this story. Even though Carmen and Shane aren’t together, you can tell that they still care for each other immensely. I’m excited to see where Shane and Carmen’s lives are headed. Hope Shane makes it!! Super good story, hon. :)
Heart-stopping update (no pun intended). before the seriousness of it all, it was pretty light-hearted, yes i hope they do meet up for coffee and then dinner and slowly go on more dates. i’d love to see that. so please, don’t let shane die!!
Heart-stopping update (no pun intended). before the seriousness of it all, it was pretty light-hearted, yes i hope they do meet up for coffee and then dinner and slowly go on more dates. i’d love to see that. so please, don’t let shane die!!