“That’s Britney… that’s your song playing”

“Oh shit turn it up turn it up…. OH MY GOD!” I got in the car

“Its J-N here in KissFM that was number two in the top 10, Britney with her new song ‘why should I be sad?’ produced by this hot new DJ called Suga’ mama. I’m going to find out more about this new girl for you guys. But all I have to say to this… THIS SONG IS HOT! Now back to our number 1 song Justin-“ I got up the car looking stunt with my hand on my mouth surprised

“NUMBER 2?” I yelled

“Carmen your song is fucking second on the charts mamil”

“Oh shit….”  I said still not believing in hat just happened

“OK I have to go, but we are celebrating tonight, I’ll pick you up at 9, and Carmen… Congrats you deserve it mami” and she left. I get in my house and to my studio.

“What was that about?” Pink asked… I hooked up with her at one party and she asked me to help her do her new CD and we’re been doing this for 4 month now… we’ve become friends.

“The song I made for Britney?…. its fucking number 2 in the charts!”

“What… o shit congrat woman!”

“Fuck this is big”

“Yeah… now lets get back to work cuz’… I want 12 number one hits” we laugh. I start looking trough my drawers looking for…

“What are you looking for?” I give her a look

“oh NO Carm… come on! You’ve got to quit that shit… you’re doing it to much”

“You want 12 number one singles… well this is the only way I can give them to ya” and I found what was looking for… what’s keeping me alive… what’s pumping my heart these days… Coke… my nose candy… my medicine against a broken heart… I figure in a year it would have healed but… I think mine… has no hope

“Dude…” 1 sniff, 2 sniff and I’m A all right

“what?”

“… for get it… its no used with you”

“Aw don’t start…. Oh before I forget… tonight we are going to celebrate, so be here before 9 Papi is picking us up, and you have to come”

“Fine… anyway, I love this song… when did you write this one?”

“10 minute stand?… um, two days ago”

“Shit you’re a freaking lunatic man… this song is hot and weird… how the fuck do you come up with this?”

“Life experience my friend”

“Oh right your little miss player”

“haha fuck you”

“Why don’t you like relationships Carmen… I’ve seen you go out with great girls but I dot see them for more than 2 days”

“I don’t do relationships”

“Your Latina… you are suppose to want to have a relationship and 10 kids”

“…funny”

“Yeah it was”

“get in the booth Alecia”

Yes my life has change… yes I’m different but don’t fucking judge me… I did what I had to do to survive and be happy… well almost… at least think I am. Because deep inside I’m angree of what I’m doing. I’m angry of what have I become….That’s how I come back to anger… anger has the power to consume your life and hide so that no one will see it… no one but yourself… you know its there… you feel it… controlling you , making you do stuff. Stuff that you don’t approve but… and you wouldn’t have done before… before someone broke you…

My point is maybe we don’t give anger enough credit. Maybe it could be a lot more dangerous than we think; after all, when it comes to destructive behaviors… it did make the top seven.