/// I had taken an indefinite leave of absence from the CAC. Oddly I was completely indifferent to the whole thing. I didnt really care all that much anymore, about anything really. Not since I took that step, that stumbling step down the path of pain and betrayal. I walk aimlessly through these halls, I am a shell of a human being since I did the one thing I never wanted to do; I broke my beloveds heart, her trust…her soul. I saw it that night. That horrible, needy night. I saw something within her break as I took from her and she took from me.

I felt what she took that night and I feel it now. I should say that I dont feel it now; my soul. When she left here that night my soul was ripped from within the safe confines of my body and flung into the winds of time.

With a sigh I turn from the window I find myself drawn to. What Im looking for is beyond me. I have given up on calling Tina, given up on hearing from my friends. I sent Kit away. She deserved this time with David. At least one of the Porter women deserved to be happy. I pushed my hand to my chest as I turned from the window. These past few days I have had a pain there. I deserve anything that I get. It was poetic justice on my part that my heart was hurting. At least it showed me that I still had one.

Going into the kitchen I pull a bottle of water out of the fridge and guzzle half of it down. As I set the bottle on the counter the pain in my chest intensifies ten fold and I gasp as the breath from my body escapes me. I clutch a hand against my chest as I wait for the pain to go away. When, impossibly, it gets worse I drop to my knees as I realize what is going on.

Heart attack.

How the ***** am I having a heart attack? It is a perfect ending to a perfect life. I bend over onto my knees placing one hand on the ground as I keep the other pressed to my rapidly beating heart. God this hurts so much! I dont want to die. I realize this now. I cant die. I have to live in order for me to make it up to Tina. I dont know how Im going to do that but I have to live in order to try.

As my vision starts to blur I look up at the table beside the couch and see the phone. The phone. Never have I been more happy to see the phone than I am right now. Putting my other hand to the floor I slowly crawl across the floor toward the table. About halfway there my body breaks out in a cold sweat. Stopping I stay where I am for a moment as I do not have the strength to go on further.

As I sink to the ground turning over on my back one thought is on my mind. Tina. I wont get to see my beloved Tina again.

Tina…I love you, I manage to gasp out before everything goes dark and I surrender to my fate///

I stare up at Kit and James and realize something. Im alive. I went through the frightening experience of having a heart attack to come out the other side alive. Not particularly well by the feel of it. I cant feel my legs. That is alarming to say the least. I turn my attention to the two people standing above me. I feel the darkness of sleep returning once again and I can only get out one word.

Tina.

TBC…If you want.