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    It Feels Like I’m Coming Home & It’s About Time…

    This is my coming home story. I say coming home instead of coming out for a reason. This story is more than just me finally accepting the gayness. This is also about finding home. I know this is not a Bette and Tina story or fiction at all, but please take the time to read it anyway. It is an important story that needs to be told, and it is my hope that it will help someone else out there who is struggling right now.

    I grew up in a very small town in Texas, in a Christian home with a close knit family. It was the kind of town where everyone knew everything about everyone else, and didn’t mind sharing it. I used to think it was possible for people to know what I did before I even did it! lol Anyway, it is not the kind of place where you are gay if you know what’s good for you.

    I had my first crush on a girl when I was 6 years old. She moved into my little town when we were in 1st grade and I thought she was an angel. Sweet, I know. ;) We grew up together in that small town and I crushed on her all the way through high school. We were the best of friends throughout our childhood until my feelings grew to be too much to hide around 10th grade, so I pushed her away and we became enemies for a long time. I didn’t want her or anyone else to know I liked girls. I didn’t think I would be accepted and I just knew my family would not approve. I tried dating boys and tried hard to fit in the “normal” category. I don’t think at the time I even really knew what that meant. It was tough keeping everything inside. I acquired a lot of coping mechanisms and most proved to be bad ones and did a lot of damage over the years.

    When I went off to college I still didn’t really know what to do with all the crazy feelings I was having, and wasn’t in a safe place to explore them either. I know college is supposed to be the time for all of that, but not where I was from, nor where I went to university. So, I continued to stay hidden away in that closet of mine and did my best to play it straight.

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    Comments

    1. RobbiRob.peace n love to you…thx for sharing. This here story shor’ hit home. Yessum it did done dat!..hows bout you keep a writin yur stories!..you do it so well. Yur talent is right on!..you’ve got a friend in me!.. <(*-*)/

    2. Hey RobbieRob, thank you so much for sharing your story with us!

      I am very lucky that my coming out to family and friends and at work was easy, they accepted me for what i am, a proud and open lesbian. I was afraid how they would react, especially my father, but he said that his only wish was that i am happy and happy i am, married for 12 years to a incredible woman.

      I know that for the most people like you and BnTinmyhead that wasn’t the case. That is why i admire and respect them greatly for what they had to endure before and after coming out. I only wish that someday everyone can feel save in this world no matter who they love.

      Let keep this site a home for everyone.

    3. The first step is the hardest but i am very pleased that you took it.Being afraid is a part of the process and you took the necessary steps in that process to get to where you are and therein lies the courage you never knew you had.BRAVO and keep your head up you are doing great.

    4. I am in tears reading your story
      Robbie.Eu could not imagine how
      It was hard for you, and also went to
      BNT, admirable women and has
      my total respect. And you are quite right
      let’s stop doing in private message or
      Direct message to discuss this or that,
      I give my face to slap because I admit that I did
      to defend the writing of BNT, we have to respect
      This website and Jack who gave us the sanctuary, are all
      a large family, and like any family, sometimes
      small differences, but the important thing is that we love.
      Love all writers, of course there are those who
      I love most and have direct contact with some through the
      facebook, and would like to take and make a call
      those wishing to contact me through facebook
      and just send me a message asking for my address
      I will have the great pleasure to send.
      Bear hug.
      All constellation Robb!

    5. RobbieRob, Welcome Home! The first step is always the hardest…accepting yourself with love! Although for many people, myself included, we are so overwhelmed by the messages we received growing up we beat ourselves and set ourselves up for heart aches because of them. Keep moving forward through love and acceptance. You are so worth the journey!

    6. RobbieRob brave to share something this personal. It really strucks me to read that although we curse on the past, we still didn’t make that much of progress. I’m so lucky that my family didn’t think anything of me being gay. Maybe they knew before I did. They accepted me for who I am and they accepted my girlfriend when I introduced her. We’re not together anymore. After seven years we broke up. Still my relatives ask me how she’s doing because we are on speaking terms. She’s still part of my family.
      And you’re right we should support each other instead of talking trash. Somehow we don’t understand that we women hold the future. Although we need men to create, we cherish that fruit for nine months. So we should support each other! Have a blessed weekend my friends.

    7. I absolutely love your story, I seen so much of my life into what you wrote its unbelievable..i think what you did took a lot of bravery and I admire you so much…I loved you first story since the beginning but now knowing it was true makes me love it even more….Bravo my friend. Double R, its nice to see you posting again. Please more.

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