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    I’ve Been Expecting You. Chapter 13.

    Story written on June 23, 2005 by thewhonow.
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    45 votes, average: 2.93 out of 545 votes, average: 2.93 out of 545 votes, average: 2.93 out of 545 votes, average: 2.93 out of 545 votes, average: 2.93 out of 5 (45 votes, average: 2.93 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 6
    Words: 2224
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=54975
    Author Notes:

    ‘I’m Dying. Pray For Me.’

     

    Thats bullshit, I tell her. Mary, thats bullshit. You can do this. You can beat this. I know you can. I will help you, you dont have to do this alone, I will help you through this. Im here for you. Please let me help you.

     

    Im scared, Tina. She says.

     

    I look to the ceiling and have a quick one sided, conversation with God. I tell him hes being unfair, he doesnt know what hes doing. Mary doesnt deserve this, I beg of him. Please. Im asking you. Im asking you this one thing. Dont let her give up, this is not her fault, not like it was mine. I chose to do what I did, she didnt. This is not her fault. Please God. Not this woman. Not Mary.

     

    I go looking for Mary the next day. I look everywhere I can think of. Shes not there, shes nowhere to be found. I start to get anxious.

     

    I find out from one of the other residents that Mary is not well. And that she has been asking for me.

     

    When I enter her room, Marys not really there. Instead theres just this thin, kind faced woman laying motionless in bed, far too weak to even sit up.

     

    Hey drug addict, I say. Or at least I try to say. No words will come out of my mouth at first because I get this overwhelming feeling of anger that I try desperately to suppress, but its working its way up from my toes and racing straight to my chest, where it lodges like a splinter. This is not right. Before I do speak Mary weakly lifts her arm and invites me to move clover to her bed. I stand holding her hand in mine.

     

    Tina. She says. Im dying. Pray for me.

     

    This is when I lose it, all the anger released in one swift sentence.

    Three people have to restrain me, they pin my arms to my sides and drag me out of there before I can smash every last item in that God forsaken room.

     

    I get permission to go to Marys funeral. One of the therapists escorts me. Im beginning to understand now the effects of taking cocaine. It can make you crazy. It can make you unpredictable. It can make you violent. God knows what I am capable of? What would I do if they let me loose?

     

     

     

    God Knows.           

     

     

     

    (To Be Continued? . . .)

     

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    Comments

    1. Thanks for the insight. You’ve got a really interesting story going. I like seeing Tina as the “tough” one. But where is Bette? Go visit the poor girl, for God’s sake!

    2. Wow, another intense and eye opening chapter! Thank you for sharing your insight. I think in today’s world if you haven’t been effected by drug use you certainly know someone that has gone down that road and this is just a really great way to have a glimpse into the mind of an addict!!! This is really amazing!! Thanks again

    3. So can I ask you what you do for a living?? I’m thinking of 2 things that might help me understand how you can write this. I’m sitting here in awe. This story is breath taking, It makes me undrstand the road I could have been taking. I used to use coke, a whole lot of it, I have been clean 2 years, sometimes it a struggle to fight that need, I wonder why I didn’t end up like tina? I think about that often why somepeople go that way and some don’t. I thank you for this story it helps me fight the need. It sheds light on the thoughs of what user go through.

    6. Another great, intense chapter. The way you explained addiction through the combination lock changing, helped me to understand just a little bit more. Looking forward to more.

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