”How did I do it Hel? How did I let us fall in love?”

Helena pulled back to meet the now dry brown eyes, her breathing slower, a resignation never seen before.

”After Callie…after everything I’ve been through, how did I make things go in this direction?”

”Bette we don’t always command things…you know that…even when you broke up with Callie you took all the blame..but you’re not always to blame! Things go as they have to go…that’s life! You couldn’t have done anything for Tina her feelings are not controllable….not even yours.”

Bette lay down on the big pillow, her hands clasped on her belly, her eyes closed to gain some calm ”not even mine” she repeated Helena’s last words.

Helena got up getting her some water from the tap, while Bette drank Helena glanced at the monitor to check that everything was ok and dried Bette’s back neck with a small towel.

”Why didn’t you tell her?”

”What?”

”That you love her…because you love her, Bette”

”I can’t do that”

”Why?”

”Because she deserves better”

”That’s an excuse you also use to dump women…you did it with me too” Helena laughed lightly

”Yes ok…but does she really deserve better than a person in a hospital bed”

”What if she wanted you like that? Even now? What if you waited..what if you were better one day and wanted to try again and realized it was too late? You would regret it Bette…”

”What if I never get better?”

”It’s a risk you have to take…if you really feel what you feel for her..”

”I’m not used to taking risks like that…”

”Of course women fall at your feet.”

”they fell…”

”I still am Bette! It’s you who hates everyone who comes in here and you pushed everyone away with your illness…you pushed everyone away after you and Callie separated…for 5 years of your life she was the only one for you.”

”because in the past I made a mistake…but now I’m a grown woman Hel, I don’t cheat anymore…”

”and I’m proud of you…but you destroyed yourself, you didn’t think about yourself, about your happiness and then you got sick.”