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Lest I Forget (29)
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While Kallie was in the hospital, Alice and I hadn’t been to the house at all. We’d both set up camp in the waiting room, and I was spending so much time learning about Kallie’s illness that I forgot all about Alice’s aversion to hospitals. When I finally remembered, a few days after Kallie had been admitted, I felt like absolute shit. I hadn’t even thought of talking to her about it.
She brushed me off when I tried, saying that she was fine and that we just needed to be there for Kallie. I tried to get her to agree to at least go home and sleep in our bed for a night, but she wouldn’t hear of it. “I didn’t pay enough attention before and now she’s in this place. I can’t leave her alone.”
“She won’t be alone, Al. I’m here with her and you’ll come back, I just think you need to get some rest…”
She bristled. “I can rest just fine right here. I’m not leaving and that’s final.”
I gave up, because trying to talk to her sensibly when she was really upset was never a good idea. Besides, she was partly right. We needed to focus on Kallie, and I truly didn’t have the energy to do that and look after Alice at the same time. That sounds harsh, but I don’t mean it to be. I simply had no idea what to do to help Alice if she wouldn’t even agree to talk to me, so I left it alone in favor of trying to be there for Kallie.
It did make me feel bad, though. I called Helena to talk to her about it, since she’d been there when Alice had gone through bad times. It still made me feel incredibly guilty that I hadn’t been around for those, but I needed to know what to do.
“She’ll come around,” Helena assured me. “Right now she’s probably still in a state of shock, and unless it seems that she’ll do some sort of harm to herself, just give her some space to work things out in her head. I’ll come by and try to get her out of the hospital for a bit.”
Alice agreed to go to lunch with Helena that day, which surprised me a little. I’m not sure what they talked about, but she came back seeming a little less panicked than she had when she left, so I was thankful.
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MT. don’t worry about the comments. Just keep writing your story. I cannot get enough of your fine writing. It just seemed so real the way you write the scenes. I felt for Kallie and am glad that she adjusted so well. It is awfully dreadful for children that young to have to ensure so much suffering. Totally understood A feeling all guilty about it. The Hawaiian trip with Helena was an excellent idea. I hope A could resolve her feelings and coming back stronger to be there for her family. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!
Another amazing chapter, MT!! I am so glad to see Alice making small but steady progress in her recovery and that she is thinking about the future, as well. Also that she is finding so many ways to communicate non-verbally — much of it due to Dana and Alice knowing each other so well. I got some giggles from the juice thing. I’m glad Charlie is doing well, too. That will be one less thing to stress out his mothers. Alice, Dana and their friends really stepped up to adjust to Kallie’s health needs. I feel so bad for Alice. The guilt must be horrible. Thank goodness Dana took a stand to get Alice to see she was pushing her family away. I hope the trip will help her get recharged and get her head straight. Wonderful story and meticulously written. Thanks, MT!!