It’s been hard, though. Tina went into a period of mourning as soon as Bette passed away, and although it’s not some traditional thing she still hadn’t come out of it completely by the time Alice had her stroke. Neither had Angie, although she wasn’t as sad as Tina, which was good because Tina seemed to be almost a shell of her former self. I was really hoping that going to visit Alice wasn’t going to set Tina back. Obviously I understood why she was still sad, but I missed her and wanted my friend back and I was pretty sure everyone else did too.

I did understand, though. I was fairly confident that Alice was going to survive this, but if I lost her I knew I would never be the same. It just wouldn’t be possible for me to go back to any semblance of a normal life after sharing so much of it with her. I needed her around, and as dependent as that made me feel I knew it was the truth. I didn’t know who I was without her, and that’s not just some sappy love story thing. Any identity I had was so wrapped up in her and in our  life together that I knew that if I lost her, I’d lose a great deal of myself.

I shook my head, willing the sad thoughts away and reassuring myself once again that I wasn’t going to lose her. We had very good doctors working on the case and Al was getting better by the day, so there was no reason to think that she’d end up like Bette had. Thinking of my dearly departed friend had made me sad, though. I missed her. We hadn’t been especially close but we’d shared a bond, and sometimes it was hard for me to remember that she wasn’t around.

She’s always been really nice to me and Alice, especially after the kids came. Bette liked Kallie a lot since she was a good playmate for Angelica, but she adored Charlie a little more than the rest of them seemed to. She confessed to me once that she’d always wanted a son, and having never been able to have that dream realized she’d spoiled Charlie to death. She hosted the birthday party for him where everyone learned that Shane and Jenny were together, and she said she’d put in a good word for him at whatever school we wanted to put him into. Al and I never really cared about that, but it was obviously really important to Bette so we appreciated the sentiment.