What the first order of business for Bette was to find someplace to live. She wanted something away from what she knew. Something simple, less complex. After looking through the ads she settled on an efficiency apartment in the low rent area of town. With the proceeds from her half of the house and what ever savings she had saved, Bette still had a little nest egg but she still needed to manage her money wisely. She had let Kit deal with all the final details of her and Tina’s break up, instructing Kit to give Tina everything she wants.

After all it was the receiving of the court summons from Tina’s attorney which was the final straw that broke Bette’s hold over her controlled life. Getting those papers started in motion the force which sent Bette into a spiral which ended in her attempted suicide. This spiral was made worse by the massive amount of alcohol. Bette actually wonders now if deep in her heart she actually was trying to control Tina by trying to take her life.

“God how sick. How low did I have to sink before I hit bottom.”

Bette had known that Kit would be by to check on her and she thought that maybe this would be dramatic enough that even Tina would have to at least talk to her. And if Kit didn’t show she didn’t feel her life was worth much. After all nothing else worked, not calling Tina’s cell, stalking her at Alice’s apartment or even trying to get past Oscar at the Center.

“God did she always have to be so dramatic? Did she always have to take things over the top?”

These are all parts of her psyche that Bette was working to come to grips with and make her own type of peace over. Right now her focus was to find someplace where she fit, someplace away from Tina, where she could contribute something and create something positive. This was going to be her life for now and that was as far forward as she cared to plan.

Now Bette is grateful that Shane and Kit did come by and found her with the pills and empty alcohol bottles. Shane had been amazing. Kit had come along while Shane was calling 911. They both got emergency help to Bette and saved her life. From the ER she went to the psych floor and then to the half way house. While she felt ashamed of her actions she also now knew what had driven her. Today her life is so different. Rachael her therapist stresses that she needs to establish a routine. That repetitive structure of a daily routine would help her when the stress of planning her day becomes overwhelming.