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    Let Me In – 5

    Bette watched silently as Tina marched out of the room with Angelica. With a sigh, she sat down at the edge of her bed, and stared at the stuffed toy in her hands.

    Why was she losing Tina?

    What was she doing wrong?

    Wasn’t she doing things properly?

    She had done everything to fix what had gone wrong in the past, right?

    She’d gone to therapy. She prioritized her family. She was trying to center herself. She was more spiritual, less workaholic.

    Was that it? Was Tina looking for the old Bette Porter?

    No, Bette thought wryly, Tina’s looking for a penis.

    Bette sighed in defeat. She couldn’t ask Tina, but it haunted her endlessly: did Tina sleep with Josh Becker? Did Tina go to bed with some guy she’d known for, what, a couple of weeks?

    Then again, she didn’t complain when she’d been the beneficiary of Tina’s passion, did she?

    Bette glanced around her room, then back at the stuffed toy.

    She knew what the consequences of asking Tina to leave were. Tina could very well take Angelica from her. The adoption had not yet been formalized, and Tina may have learned a trick or two from watching Helena’s attempts with Winnie during the last year.

    She closed her eyes, and thought of the possibilities.

    It all came down to losing Tina, wasn’t it? If she somehow managed to get Tina to agree to shared custody, what was she going to get, weekends? The occasional holiday?

    Then again, how was she going to look at Angelica, and not see Tina in the smallest details?

    How was she going to look at Angelica and not be reminded of the woman who’d taken hold of her heart, and whose heart she’d once broken?

    And now… Now it was Tina. Tina who knew her control over Bette’s heart and trying unsuccessfully not to break it.

    Bette glanced over her shoulder at the bed. Empty, messy. A lot like the two women who’d just been on it.

    She wanted to talk to Tina. Tell her things. Get some closure, something. Anything. Any clue that they could work this out. Any clue that the woman she’d kicked out of her bed was the same woman who’d wanted to move back in and give birth to their daughter at home, and be a family with her.

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    Comments

    1. Tiff, I’m speechless. This is such emotional writing from both perspectives that still gives me hope that if IC has one ounce of the feeling put into these past two chapters at somepoint B&T will prevail. Pls keep it up, I know I am giong to need after next week.

    2. Tiff – thank you for the insight that we are never exposed to on the show. Did anyone else think it was astonishing that Bette did not question her about Josh? I guess seeing “Betty” for half of the show was more important! Personally I have seen enough of them to last my entire life.

    3. Enjoy your stories including this one but i must admit even though this is bette’s prespective i see itmore of what tina’s feels and thinks. I know everybody is saying LH is doing what IC wrote but so is JB so I will continue to voice my displeasure toward Tina not LH. I guess S3 Tina is having a little commitment problem first bette, than Josh and now she has found henry.

    4. so sad but keep writing–ic and the writers have goofed for sure with tina and bette;don’t think they care what we feel need to see this rare love–of coarse tjhe girls are only doing what is written for theit chacacters–i keep hoping something will change for the good in s3

    5. You have captured the feelings of both women. Feel sorry for them and all of us that are witnessing this tragic heartbreak of a story. Thanks for the post.

    6. This story sounds so much like both of these women want each other in their lives. They just do not know how to find their way back to each other. Neither one of them can get along without the other, but will they ever be able to put their lives back together with each other?

    7. this was heart breaking…B&T so need to talk to each other…their problem is that they don’t trust that the other is willing to listen…make them talk please and get another chance

    8. I have to say Tiff, I am actually on Tina’s side a lot of the time. I hate that B&T aren’t together, but with the life they have been given by IC, I think its a fairly typical reaction to be unable to trust and love your partner the same way once someone has cheated. Tina is totally entitled to her anger and resentment. However, there is a level of cruelty there that seems a tad unneccesary. Anyway, so for the rant, but thanks for portraying a somewhat unpopular view of Tina in your story. Your writing was fabulous once again.

    9. TD, That was traumatic and moved me to tears. All of the if-onlys were there. All of the what-ifs were there. All of the might-have-beens were there. The thing that upsets me most about this storyline is the acceptance of the breakdown of this relationship. There is no fight in either Bette or Tina for this union. Total resignation and confusion are the only emotions that I have felt from the last couple of episodes. Where is the passion? Where is the desire? Where is the others be dammed just go for what you want attitude? At least you are managing to explain and flesh out the reasons behind this indifference. Sobbing and breaking my heart. I can hope that it is an extreme case of Post Natal Depression for Tina. Thank you for writing the hard stuff. Your Loyal Fan.

    10. Yeah, if I were Bette, I’d also wonder if it’s a correct decision to put down all the walls and let Tina in completely. How could Bette trust Tina again even if Tina came to her sense and wanted to be back?

    11. Wonderful as always Tiff! You do the inner dialogue we never get on the show so well – which is why i love it when you do a riff on the scenes we see. (and why I occaisionally hassle you for your version of perspective) Love your stuff TiffySkipton – when do we get your riff on Tiffs Riff?

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