“Yes I recall you saying that he resembled you physically. That you thought he would be perfect to reflect your heritage, but wasn’t he noncommittal about doing it?”

“Well he’s had a change of heart. He’s agreed to donate sperm to a Cryobank after which he’s going to have a vasectomy.”

“You are going to let him do that?” “What

? Have a vasectomy? I don’t think I have any say over that doc.”

“I didn’t think that you would. Are you going to let him donate sperm?”

“Yes I am. I want him as a donor. I had an interesting conversation with a friend regarding my presumptiveness in choosing a donor before I’ve even met my life-partner and she convinced me that I shouldn’t need to have a child that looks like me to know he’s mine.” “

Yet you agreed to have Marcus donate sperm.”

“The fact is I don’t need the baby to look like me but if I am with a partner of a different heritage and she agrees to be the birthmother then I would like to have a baby that reflects the both of us. If I were to give birth to our baby I would give her the same consideration. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.”

“There is nothing wrong with wanting that Bette. As long as you discuss it with your partner and you are both in agreement.  You also have to face the reality having sperm from Marcus doesn’t guarantee that you or a partner would be impregnated. There may be complications and with a limited supply you might in fact end up having to find a new donor.”

“I’ve thought of that but we’ll cross that bridge when and if we come to it. There is something more pressing that I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What’s that?”

“Marcus and his girlfriend are having a baby. She’s six months along.”

“Marcus got someone pregnant; he’s decided to have a vasectomy but he’s willing to donate sperm and she’s OK with him fathering other children?”

“She doesn’t know that he will be a sperm donor; that’s between him and me. It doesn’t have anything to do with her.”

“You need to back up Bette. Start at the beginning.”