Fan Fiction
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Look On The Brightside: Small World
“No kissing boys until you’re fifty and menopausal okay?”
“Bette..” Tina began to object.
Bette floored her partner with a look; for her own sanity, there really was no arguing with her on this one. “Okay Angie?” She asked their daughter again.
“Okay.” Angelica nodded, even though she had no vague idea what menopausal meant.
“Promise me..”
“I promise.”
“Great.” Bette sighed in relief. Sure, she wasn’t expecting her daughter to stick to her vow, but at least she’d have something to bring up when puberty hits and Angelica starts dating. The thought alone scares her to death, making her eyes tear up in anxiety. Guessing what was going on in that overprotective mind of hers, Tina starts caressing her hand.
“Wait mama,” Angelica spoke up after a minute. “What about Uncle David, James, Sonny and..” The little girl trailed off, thinking of other men that they considered family. “..them. Just them.” She finished with a shrug. “I’m not allowed to kiss them on the cheek too?”
Bette pursed her lips, considering this. She needed to be fair and partial, huh? Fine.. “Shake their hands from now on.” She shrugged.
“Bette!”
——————
“Tee, how many sandwiches did you eat?”
“About one and a half, I ate Angie’s leftovers. You?”
“Just one. How’s your tummy?”
“Full. The banana split was pretty heavy. Yours?”
“The same. I really shouldn’t have eaten that funnel cake. How are you feeling?””
“Nauseous already. You?”
“I’m sharing your pain, baby.”
“You think this is a bad idea?”
“I think this is not one of our smartest decisions yet.”
“I have to agree. What will we do then? It’s too late to back out..”
“I dunno, close our eyes?”
“Would that work?”
“Probably not.”
“How ’bout we clamp our lips shut instead?”
“Would that hold the food down?”
“No. But it will keep our vomit at bay.”
“I guess so. Hey Tee?”
“Yeah babe?”
“I just want you to remember that you made a promise to our daughter that you’re going to marry me next month. You know, just in case I get sick all over you and you start having second thoughts..”
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talaula says
You just reminded me of when I took my nephew to Magic Mountain and spending a small fortune on winning him a prize. “”My Mama B’s so great, she didn’t have to shoot the balls inside the basket to win them.” That was a great, I was roflmao. Nice one off, it’s a good distraction maybe they will give you inspirations for JTG2.0 if you start to get blocked. I believe you went through the same thing with JTG towards the end. Or was it cause you were studying a lot and pressed for time? Thanks for the post Alch.
carolyn1m says
So so FUNNY! I will never view my trips there the same! thank you for capturing the Bette we all love the most!!
lucybelly says
I adore your snarky, ironic sense of humor, Alchy. So freakin’ funny! You may want to post a “Guffaw Warning” so that you’re not laughing like a loon at work or spewing liquid out your nose if you make the mistake of drinking while reading!!
pattifloatn says
That was so funny. I was told recently that the Small World ride is leaving the scene soon. Not sure what will go in it’s place.
Suejan says
LOL funny, entertaining, great post:))
pekegal says
OMG Alchy! This story was purely, a simple…Sugar Rush!!! How sweet and fun was this peice of fluff (as u call it!). Competetive Bette…don’t mess with that gal. LOL! Love your humor!!!!! (And extra points for cute-Angie!)
ut says
That was so freaking funny and cute, Bette is hilarious. Thanks for sharing this story with us, they are awesome!
theotlv says
What did you do girl? I’ m still hurt from all the laughing! That was amazing. Many kisses.
Amos says
It’s kinda hard to read this chapter and keep food down my throat at the same time…LOL
Dainty says
That was hilarious. Never before have I ever heard of a “wank bank.” Too funny.
annieb69 says
i so luv the way you write bette in your stories, you just crack me up, can’t wait for the next adventure!!
azmama says
So funny. A delight to read on a leisurely Sunday morning here.
divinemu says
Your Bette is hysterically funny. Beautifully written humorous Disney adventure. Thank you.
KirbyP says
That was hilarious!
Jackiee1 says
What a good story brought back memories of that god-awful song once in your head takes days to get rid ofnow that I am old enough to go to Disneyland on my own I avoid it’s a small world but it’s one of my moms favorites so for days I cannot get the song out of my head I don’t do the spinning teacup’s because I would be green as well looking forward to work this story
brwnsuga says
This was TERRIFIC.
favcouple says
This was so hilarious. Thank you loved it. :)