Alice sank into silence once again. Dana’s echo retreated and she began to think with some clarity for the first time in days. Finally, she summoned a mighty breath and managed to squeak it out.

“I killed Dana.”

Bette didn’t say anything and Alice wasn’t sure she’d heard so she repeated it.

“No, Alice, you didn’t. Her heart gave out from the infection and the chemo damage,” Bette rejected Alice’s assertion. It was ridiculous.

“Yeah, I did…”

“Al, listen to me. You weren’t even there when she died,” Bette said as gently as she could.

Alice winced, her ire rising.

“Thanks for pointing that particular failure out, Porter,” she hissed. “Neither were you, I might add. You wanted me to tell, so let me tell you or leave. But don’t you ever say that to me again.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Gathering her thoughts, Alice tried again.

“She was in so much pain, Bette. She was so weak. But she kept fighting, kept putting up a brave front. I allowed myself to believe that she could beat it because she wasn’t getting any worse. But the thing was, she couldn’t get any worse. Any worse meant giving up. And we both know Dana Fairbanks didn’t know how to fucking quit anything.” From nowhere, a single tear fell, the first in months.

Bette tenderly wiped it from her cheek and waited for Alice to continue.

“On some level I knew that the day might come when I’d have to help her, that I was the only one who could, but I never thought it would be so soon,” her voice trailed off and Bette continued to wait patiently, holding Alice tightly in her arms.

“After Tina left, I was chatting away and somehow Dana found the strength to open her eyes and tell me she loved me. It took everything she had to do it. And that’s when I knew she was hanging on for me…enduring unimaginable pain and indignity because she knew I wasn’t ready for her to go,” Alice took a quaking breath, her tears falling more freely. “So I took her hand in mine and told her I loved her too. Then I touched her cheek and I looked into her eyes and told her that if she was too tired to keep fighting that I would understand and I would be okay. I told her she didn’t have to stay just for me,” Alice finished in a barely audible whisper.