Bette was stunned by Alice’s act of compassion. It was the most courageous thing she could imagine. And it was the secret that had been killing Alice by degrees for months. Still, she didn’t speak, sensing that there was more.

“She squeezed my hand and smiled at me. And we sat like that for a long time. When she finally drifted off, it was the most peaceful she’d been since they admitted her. I swear to you Bette I didn’t know she was that close or I would have never left her. I never meant for her to die alone. And there’s a part of me that thinks that if I’d never said anything at all, she would have hung on long enough to get better. I killed her.”

With that, the damn broke. Months of guilt and grief poured out of Alice in an uncontrolled, unearthly wail, her body collapsing fully into Bette’s embrace. Bette held her, stroking her hair, rocking her, kissing her head, whispering that it would be alright, that she’d done the right thing, that she would get through this, as her own tears were streaming. How could they have not known how much Dana suffered? How could they have all been so blind to depth of Alice’s pain, abandoning her to the horror of thinking that they’d hate her for helping the love of her life find peace? How could Alice believe, even for a moment, that she’d been mistaken to do so?

When Alice began to calm, Bette finally spoke, choosing her words carefully to make sure Al understood that she meant every syllable.

“I believe that Dana waited for you to take your walk,” she said quietly. “I think she wanted to spare you the memory of watching her die.” She paused before asking, ”What’s the last thing you remember when you think about her?”

Alice closed her eyes and Dana was there. “I love you.” For the first time, a smile traced her lips as she remembered.

“Dana telling me she loved me,” Alice answered in a strangled voice.

“See?” Bette smiled reassuringly. “I don’t even have to think about it. I know that’s what she wanted you to carry in your heart.”

As they both began to process the implications of what they’d just been through, the days of sleeplessness caught up with Alice. She had made some progress, but knew it was only the first step away from her paralyzing despair, although she thought she might be able to start to function again after she slept.

“You might be right, but I can’t do anymore right now. I think maybe I can sleep.” She lifted herself from Bette’s arms. “Will you stay with me? I don’t want to wake up in an empty house.”

“I’ll be here as long as you need me.”

Pulling Alice to her feet, Bette led her to the bedroom, where she tucked her in before crawling on to the bed and spooning her until they both slept. For the first time in weeks, Alice welcomed Dana into her dreams.