Before I realized what I was doing, I drove my clenched fist into the mirror. Several cracks appeared from the point where I hit it and pain seared through my hand. I let out a small cry and fell to my knees, tears streaming down my face and clutching my throbbing hand. I moved my other hand away from over my knuckles to see blood pouring from gashes on each of my knuckles and cursed myself. Once again, I had reacted in the same way I have done so many times before- by hurting myself. It is a habit that I have fallen into so many times before.

When my tears ran out and I could cry no more I dragged myself off of the cold tiled floor and ran my hand under the tap, watching the water turn red as it ran over my knuckles.

Dana

I was so miserable when I started my next game at Wimbledon, knowing that I would be playing it without Alice in the crowd, giving me the support that drove me and that I needed. I had left her in bed that morning, curled up in a small ball. I wanted so much to explain to her, but I had to train and I couldn’t miss my next game.

My second opponent was slightly bigger than the first; she had broader shoulders and a mean look on her face. I was so afraid, without Alice there I was not the confident player that I had been at the start. As soon as we began, I was the weaker player; I missed shots that I should have been able to get. But I had no drive, no determination. I lost the first set 6-1 and I felt dejected, like a failure.

The second set began much the same way, my opponent got a good start, winning the first three games and I was close to giving up. I settled on my line, ready to serve, when I saw someone in the crowd, shuffling to get past people in one of the aisles. It instantly caught my attention and I knew why- I looked up and saw Alice take her seat and look at me. I stared back at her, hoping and praying for a smile, and I got it. Alice’s face lit up and she beamed down at me, causing a smile to form on my own face.

Alice’s appearance was all I needed. The determination and the confidence were automatically restored and I fought back. In the end I won the second set and went on to win the third set, meaning that I won the game. When my name was called as the winner Alice ran down, like the last time, into arms.

“I’m sorry” she whispered into my ear and I hugged her to me even tighter.