Waiting can be boring. Waiting only makes me think about things. It only makes everything that is bugging me float closer to the surface of me. The surface of me wants to believe that Carmen is telling the truth, it wants to believe so bad that she made a mistake. I am kidding myself though the minute we kissed it was all over…again.

But if I don’t take the chance and believe her….. then I might as well be dead already…right?

“Hey…..you….. I want you to sign this for me!” Some one yells at me. I turn and scan the crowd. And I see Carmen trying to get her hand through the gate.

“Funny look Carm I’m on….”

“I know I just wanted to wish you luck…..and to say be careful and all. I have never seen you race in something without your life hanging in the balance….”

“Thanks….. I just…I just wanted to say that I do love you…..I gotta go…I am on.”

Carmen blows a kiss at me. I catch it and tuck it away like a good love sick person would. I hop on the bike. Teemu lets me know that it tends to stick on turn seven and that there is a pea soup fog on the back straight away…I knew it wasn’t just me on turn seven….I let him know I bought it out there last night. I get on and wait to get the green then I’m gone.

The track it slick. And I figure that the leaders have 3 minutes on me. Which is not bad. But considering that this is only my second time on this monster track and the misting rain and fog …I was thinking too much. I just need to go.

I ride in a blur taking the turns a little conservative. I make the first check point and get my time in my helmet mic. Making good time. Not thinking about Carmen. Misting rain getting a little heavier the higher the elevation. I cut into the lead by a minute thirty. Just about to hit the straight away when out of the nowhere these two riders in front me buy it on the straightaway. I can’t hit my brakes fast enough and I crash right into them sending broken pieces of Ducati and humans all over the place.

The world is a blur. The pain is white hot with a shade of skull shattering yellow. It goes black over and out.

I come to long enough to hear Carmen screaming at them to let her come with me in the ambulance. I look down and see a lot of blood. I tell them to let her come along with me but they don’t speak English. They ask me in German a lot of questions that I can’t answer. The doors slam shut. I can taste blood in my throat. This can’t be good I think. My leg feels broken and if I didn’t know better I think that something is making feel cold. Heh……….. it must be this metal bar sticking out of me……

TBC.  

Featured Song Shadowplay By Joy Division

 Song quoted to Carmen from Shane- Wash my Soul By Tricky