“Shane?”

“No its ok……you are the only person alive who knows this…..she didn’t know…I never told her…..”

“You think you would have?”

“No……I don’t think I would have.”

“So why tell me?”

‘Because I trust you and I love you. Because when I told you about what I did you didn’t look at me like I was a monster…”

“She did?”

“Yeah…….I don’t think she meant to….but it made things very complicated for her. She never busted me on it……I don’t know…it doesn’t matter I am telling you.”

‘I know……”

“I walked right in there that night and I challenged him just like my father did. I didn’t loose though…..at least not at first……killing him made me. Everyone knew what I did. There wasn’t any proof…we buried him so far and deep….I couldn’t even remember where to look…..but no one ever saw or heard from Fast Eddie again….”

Shane walks away gets back in the car. I follow her. this whole story of hers is so damn sad. Shane….my beautiful broken shane….not broken anymore. She puts a CD on in the new system that Endy installed for her way back when. The song is light and sweet….the song its acoustic.

“I look at the cross….then I look away….give you the gun…. blow me away….”

Change (in the house of flies). Shane’s favorite band “The don’t call them The Deftones. I called them The Deftones and Shane gave me a huge mega lecture on their name being Deftones. The song is great. It plays as the background sound to the wasteland that is Shane’s home town. This place here defined the woman behind the wheel. It made her what she is.

We don’t speak while she drives. We just listen to the CD. The cover of Simple Man is playing now. She pops on a new CD and plays some rap song. The song prompts the question to choose life or death. I never knew Shane liked rap music.

“What is this?”

“4^th chamber… By The Gza”

“I didn’t know you liked rap music.”

“I wouldn’t say I liked it as much as I like a few songs.”

We drive some more. We stop in front of what can only be a crack house. The house much like the strip club is boarded up and abandoned. We stop and get out. There is no one on the street.

“This seem familiar to you?”

“Shane…should it?”

“This is where we first met.”

“This crack house is where we met?”

“It wasn’t a crack house then. This was Mears’s place. You walked in that door. The most amazing woman I have ever seen. That door….it opened and there you where the love of my life…..our eyes met and it was over. You at the time where not playing fair though. you knew who I was, what I was doing and who I was doing it with. You knew me before I knew you….apparently…you got into major trouble with the F.B.I. because you couldn’t keep away from me.”

“This is so unreal…..she knew you first?”

“Yes she did. I don’t think she planned on feeling the way she did. What can I say…..we are supposed to be together…I mean…if you could loose the love of your life, then find me, then get killed but not….loose you’re memory….but still feel that connection…wouldn’t you agree…”

“I do agree………….none of this seems familiar.”

“I know it doesn’t. I didn’t think it would nor was I trying…I just wanted to you to see it.”

She hugs me. She loves me. Me. It makes me feel real. I finally feel real.  

To be Concluded….

Featured Song: Small time shot away By Massive Attack