Shane was waiting outside in Carmen’s car, while Carmen was changing her clothes inside the house. She frantically tapped her fingers on the dashboard, hoping that the nervous feeling in her stomach would go away. What was she supposed to say when she saw Charlie? ‘Hey, I’m sorry you just lost the love of your life, but it’s good to see you again?’ Was she supposed to say anything at all?
She glanced back at the house, and noticed Julian parking his bike against the white picket fence. Their eyes met, and more than anything in that moment Shane wished she could disappear. From the anger brimming in Julian’s eyes it was obvious that Carmen hadn’t spoken to him yet.

Carmen checked her reflection in the mirror, making sure her make-up was done subtle but nice. She had changed into a pair of dark blue jeans and a white blouse, hoping that it was formal enough. She hated going to funerals in all black. Really hated that. She grabbed her hairbrush from the dresser and started walking around in her bedroom, looking for her heels and brushing her hair at the same time. When she’d found them she quickly put them on and ran down the stairs. She bumped into Julian in the hallway, and hastily asked him to tell Mercedes that she wasn’t sleeping at home tonight. Julian just nodded and Carmen felt a faint blush appear on her cheeks. She quickly ruffled his hair with one hand in an attempt to be nonchalant and left.

Knowing that Shane was having a hard time, Carmen tried her hardest to keep her mouth shut on their way to the funeral. The funeral was in East L.A. and because Carmen knew her way better around there, she was driving. When they stopped in front of a red light, she quickly glanced over at Shane who had slumped down next to her in the passenger seat.
‘Don’t bite your nails baby,’ Carmen said good-naturally, giving her a quick wink. Being quiet was never easy for her in moments like this. Shane shrugged and smiled a little, and took her finger out of her mouth. Shane sighed and shifted in her seat, trying to get more comfortable. But it wasn’t working.
‘He invited you, he’ll be glad that you were able to make it,’ Carmen said, sensing Shane’s nervousness and trying to reassure her.
Shane chewed her inner cheek, and nodded slowly. ‘He has a kid,’ she murmured after a moment of silence.
‘Really?’
‘Yeah.. A girl, Eliza. She’s 4 years old.’
‘Wow.. And now she has to grow up without her mother..’ Carmen said softly.
‘Yeah..’
‘That’s terrible,’ Carmen said, shaking her head.
Shane shrugged and looked out the window.
‘How did she die?’ Carmen asked, not able to hide her curiosity any longer.
‘Heart attack. Charlie found her body in the kitchen when he came home from work.’
‘Oh my god..’ Carmen gasped.
‘She was so young.. and healthy. It’s so unfair.’
‘Yeah, it almost makes you think that these things must happen for a reason..’
‘Do you believe in God?’ Shane asked.
‘No.. Not really. I mean I don’t know. I was raised catholic but..’
‘You’re gay,’ Shane chuckled.
‘Funny,’ Carmen said dryly, shaking her head.
She parked her car in the parking lot next to the church, and the two of them got out. Carmen took Shane’s hand and squeezed it gently. ‘It’s gonna be okay,’ she whispered. Shane nodded and took a deep breath, before they made their way to the entrance.