On a whim, Lara turned onto the next exit.  She had decided to go out for a drive to clear her head, but it seemed to be having the opposite effect.  The more she drove, the more convoluted her thoughts became.  She couldn’t decide how to approach the upcoming discussion with Alice.  Should she just blurt out her feelings?  Tell Alice that she couldn’t stop thinking about her, that she wanted to be with her?  That she would skip her chef’s course in Paris in a second if Alice asked her to stay?  What if, having said all of that, Alice didn’t return her feelings?  Lara shuddered, contemplating that possibility.  She would have revealed her most vulnerable thoughts, only to have them thrown back in her face.

And, really, Lara thought again, why would Alice share the same feelings?  Given the way their relationship began, and the relatively short time that it had lasted, weren’t her feelings for Alice completely abnormal in their intensity?  Alice would probably think she was insane if she revealed how much she wanted to be with her.

Then again, Lara thought, playing devil’s advocate with herself, what did she have to lose by disclosing her feelings, besides a little dignity?  She could always keep her plans to leave for Paris.  Like Kit had said, if she didn’t tell Alice how she felt now, wouldn’t she always regret it?

Lara nearly screamed aloud in her car with frustration over her own indecision.  In order to deflect her attention momentarily, she turned on the radio.  Then, she began laughing as the first voice she heard registered in her head: it was Alice, doing an episode of “The Chart.”  Lara turned up the volume to hear what Alice was talking about today.

“So, there you have it, folks.  Only five degrees separates me from Hilary Clinton, potentially the first female president of the United States.  All through the magical web of connectivity.  I feel like that should get me a few favours at the White House, don’t you?” 

Lara chuckled as Alice milked her monologue for all its comedic worth.  She is incredibly funny, Lara thought fondly.  Although Alice often used her humour as a defence mechanism, mostly it was just a natural talent that reflected her quick wit.  As Alice continued to talk, Lara thought about all of Alice’s wonderful traits.  How lucky would she be to have Alice in her life?  Very, she answered internally.  Then, she thought, the only question left for her to answer was: How could she possibly justify not taking the chance to make being with someone as amazing as Alice a reality?

As she drove, Lara looked ahead and was surprised to see a sign for KCRW along the side of the road.  Somehow, through her random choices and unthinking turns in the road, she had found her way to the radio station.  To Alice.  Taking it as a sign, she made a split-second decision, and soon found herself pulling into the parking lot of the station and walking up to the front entrance.  Her nerves tingled with fear and anticipation, but she maintained her determined stride as she entered the lobby. 

She and Alice were going to talk.

tbc